the friends zone

[Reidak]

Im posting this with the assumption people know what im talking about. I'll explain briefly: females have men they know in 2 categories: friends, and potential lovers. However, its always hard to know where you stand when your a guy, but once you face facts its not hard to figure out.

Anyways my question to all our resident "ballas" on the site.

How do you get out.

Basically, i made the mistake of listening too much, letting myself slip into the friends zone and im mad because I had a lock on this girl too. Ive got other girl friends, I dont mind letting this one go for a while - but shes got too much potential to forget about.

Ive heard the best thing for this is to just cut contact. We share some classes so I can't do that. Basically im thinking of not answering phone calls most of the time, not seeing her as much as i do now, don't let her take emotional dumps on my chest about her problems.

Any other recommendations? Am i on the right track?

[Warpe]

http://ca.askmen.com/dating/curtsmit...ng_advice.html

[jyms]

Let her know you don't need any friends. You need "friends'. Not in so many words, but go through the motions, ask her out, make a move. Don't do the friends thing, coffee, lunch, hanging out during the day, studying. Do the I wanna F**k things, dinner, late night drinking, slow dancing and making moves.

[Ash256]

http://www.laddertheory.com/

[Reidak]

http://www.laddertheory.com/

I read that a month ago or so with a friend, a good laugh.

Right now im the intellectual whore.. my plan is to climb down the friends ladder, walk along the edge of the abyss, and then hopefully get on the real ladder.

[Galapogos]

Just ask Lukie-- oh. err no don't.

[Reidak]

Just ask Lukie-- oh. err no don't.

am i missing an inside joke or something?

[UG]

Sounds like you need to distance yourself from this girl. Get another girlfriend and make her jealous. If there's anything there she'll come around. Once you have another girlfriend one of two things will happen:

1) She'll be really happy for you and actually mean it (which sucks because there's no chance)

or

2) "She'll be really happy for you" but actually start to see you in a different way, then she'll start to want you as more than just a friend.


In the end it's all a big game, really, at least in my experience.

Honestly, though, these types of situations usually don't work out with the two parties involved falling madly in love and staying together forever. Again, just my experience, though.

[bigspenda73]

You're fucked, there is no turning back, sorry.

Next time don't be a pussy

Last resort, if you don't care about this one being a friend get together, get drunk, and try to hook up. That's about it. You're have about a 99:1 chance of this being anything b/c girls know off the bat if they wanna fuck you or be friends with you.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, plenty of other chicks out there. Best thing to do is prolly go fuck her best friend. Yep, that's what I'd try to do. Of course, it's cuz I can.


You read that entire post? Ok, that's the mindset you need to bang these girls and not be friends with them. Throw feelings out the window, whip your shit out, and say "lets go"

[UG]

You're fucked, there is no turning back, sorry.

Next time don't be a pussy

Last resort, if you don't care about this one being a friend get together, get drunk, and try to hook up. That's about it. You're have about a 99:1 chance of this being anything b/c girls know off the bat if they wanna fuck you or be friends with you.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, plenty of other chicks out there. Best thing to do is prolly go fuck her best friend. Yep, that's what I'd try to do. Of course, it's cuz I can.


You read that entire post? Ok, that's the mindset you need to bang these girls and not be friends with them. Throw feelings out the window, whip your shit out, and say "lets go"

QFT most definitely.

I sorta said the same thing, mostly, but I think this drives the point home a little better.

[Galapogos]

You're fucked, there is no turning back, sorry.

Pffft such a myth. If you don't know how to go from friend to guy-she's-fucking you obviously suck at stealing girls from their boyfriends.

Jishu, be more flirty with her, let her know you think she's hot, WITHOUT BEING CREEPY. That is so key. If you can get along with girls and you don't have some hirrod disfigurement you can hook up with any girl you want just by being flirty without the creepyness.

And don't turn on the faggyness when you hang out with her. Still be a guy. Tell her guy jokes or adventures you and your friends went on. Make sure she knows you're a guy but not an asshole.

The thing UG suggested about seeing another chick doesn't make her want you. It's just a good way to test if she wants you. And you can figure that out just by talking about a hot chick.

[Reidak]

All this good advice. And yeah, the biggest thing I'm taking away from this is stay out of the friends zone to begin with. I realize how futile all the shit i was doing before, where I thought I was making progress I was just digging the hole deeper. Anyways I think the easiest thing for me to do is to get a girlfriend and let the chips fall where they may. If I bag the one I want thats cool, but I forget who said it but theres alot of other girls out there. Im on tunnel vision right now.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

Make sure she knows you're a guy but not an asshole.

No be an asshole, girls like that. haha

[swiggidy]

Make sure she knows you're a guy but not an asshole.

No stick it in her asshole, girls like that. haha

FYP

[koolmoe]

My wife and I were good friends in high school - my best friend had a huge crush on her. She and I nearly hooked up fall semester of our senior year, but things went a little awry and we went back to being best friends (or so I thought).

Around Christmas, we had a phone conversation about whether I should go on a date with this semi hot (but very popular) chick who basically dropped some blatant hints to a friend of mine that she wanted to go out with me.

A week later, my future wife called me up and invited me over to a girls-only New Years Eve party she and some friends were having. I was making out with one of the other girls. When my makeout partner went to get another drink, my future wife seized the opportunity to sit in my lap and make it clear that she wanted me. Other girl comes back, gets pissed, hilarity ensues. I end up in bed with both of them later that night. Those were the days.

I'd go with the jealousy thing.

[bigred]

koolmoe, teach me your ways?

[koolmoe]

Aren't you gay?

[Galapogos]

If I bag the one I want thats cool, but I forget who said it but theres alot of other girls out there. Im on tunnel vision right now.

Fuck that, that's quitting. It's awesome to hook up with the chick you have yourself set on. Then your head is clear and no regrets or "could I have?" thoughts.

Like I said, easy to get out of the so called "friends zone"

[Galapogos]

Okay just finished reading the rest of the thread and scratch anything I said. Do like koolmoe does.

[bigred]

Aren't you gay?

It's a joke...

Oh, and jishu, fuck her best friend or maybe her sister. Girls love that.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

Conclusion, just ask the girl you want to fuck if you should screw this other girl. Then a 3-sum happens. GG

[Setzy]

Friends LADDER.

Anyway it's damn near impossible to get off of. Read that ladder theory.

[UG]

You're fucked, there is no turning back, sorry.

Pffft such a myth. If you don't know how to go from friend to guy-she's-fucking you obviously suck at stealing girls from their boyfriends.

Jishu, be more flirty with her, let her know you think she's hot, WITHOUT BEING CREEPY. That is so key. If you can get along with girls and you don't have some hirrod disfigurement you can hook up with any girl you want just by being flirty without the creepyness.

And don't turn on the faggyness when you hang out with her. Still be a guy. Tell her guy jokes or adventures you and your friends went on. Make sure she knows you're a guy but not an asshole.

The thing UG suggested about seeing another chick doesn't make her want you. It's just a good way to test if she wants you. And you can figure that out just by talking about a hot chick.

I would agree with you, it sounds like a good arguement, but this won't work. The whole "without being creepy" part screws him. She already sees him like a brother, or hell, maybe as another *female* who just happens to have a penis. If he changes the way he acts with her and starts hitting on her it's going to come off as creepy....no doubt about it.

It's time to make her jealous in some way shape or form. It's time to remove himself from the friendship by doing other stuff. Dating another girl would be best, but even just going out with the guys and drinking or being lazy and playing playstation with your friends all day will make her see you as less of a friend, less of a woman really.

Hopefully he's not past the point of no return. I'm afraid he might be, or else he wouldn't be asking questions about it on the intertron.

If he is, hopefully he learns his lesson from this failed quest.

[Reidak]

Alright, ive run into a sort of dilemma. Basically during school today I did my best to ignore her, i still answered her in short with a yes or a no or a bried sentence if she asked me anything. Anyways in the hall i was walking towards class and I saw her but didnt make eye contact or anytihng, I was walking at my pace and she was a bit slower and tugged on the back of my sweater arm and she told me to slow down, I said this is how i normally walk. In class I was doing my best not to make conversation and she asked me if i wanted to talk and I just shook my head a bit and went over to talk toa buddy. She called tonight about an hour ago and she told whoever picked up for me to call her back.

Basically im trying to detach from her for a bit to show her im not a fucking doormat for her shit, or the guy she can always rely on if shes not doing anything; In short - her dependant bitch.

Now she can get emotional and self conscious easily, whats my play now. We talked everyday, hung out alot.. etc etc. Am i doing a little too much of the ignoring, should I let her back in and do the jealousy thing. hold out a bit longer. return her call?

Basically im asking this on the internet as I can't really talk about it with my boys as they all know her and I don't want to make this shit front page news because that is exactly what will happen,, and I think it sbetter if i can get feedback from different people with different opinions.

Where do i go from here? have i made a mistake?

[jyms]

Wait till she asks whats wrong. Tell her you 'can't talk now, can we go for dinner later". At dinner, her mind is on you, what's wrong and how can she help. String her along, make her impatient. When she's begging, give her a little gift, earrings, a bracelet any decent piece of affordable jewelry, tell her you like her as more than friends. It's done, you have her or you don't. After that, nothing will change if she rebuts. If she ever wanted to be with you, it's now or never.

[Galapogos]

*sigh* You're making kid mistakes now man. No decent girl puts up with this shit. Girls don't go for guys bcause they're asses. They go for guys that are asses because aside from that, they are also fun and exciting and interesting to them. By just being a flat out dick you're pushing her away as there's no reason to be interested in you. The only girl this will get you are the ones that are so unbelievably self-conscious that they want to win you to prove something to themselves. And that will end once they have proven to themselves they can get you.

[Reidak]

*sigh* You're making kid mistakes now man. No decent girl puts up with this shit. Girls don't go for guys bcause they're asses. They go for guys that are asses because aside from that, they are also fun and exciting and interesting to them. By just being a flat out dick you're pushing her away as there's no reason to be interested in you. The only girl this will get you are the ones that are so unbelievably self-conscious that they want to win you to prove something to themselves. And that will end once they have proven to themselves they can get you.

Thats exactly what I was worried about. I think my best bet in this situation is to see other girls, see how this one reacts, and go from there.

[UG]

*sigh* You're making kid mistakes now man. No decent girl puts up with this shit. Girls don't go for guys bcause they're asses. They go for guys that are asses because aside from that, they are also fun and exciting and interesting to them. By just being a flat out dick you're pushing her away as there's no reason to be interested in you. The only girl this will get you are the ones that are so unbelievably self-conscious that they want to win you to prove something to themselves. And that will end once they have proven to themselves they can get you.

QFT.

Being a dick to her, not talking and/or making eye contact with her, is totally not the way to go. With the way you've told this story you just need to come out and be up front with her about it. You're not at a point where you can really play head games with her because you've already lost the game. She's got you. You sound totally consumed by her. Best case scenario is that you come right out with your feelings and give it to her straight.....and who knows, maybe she feels the same?

That's all you've got, because faking not liking her or trying to be an ass, well, she'll see right through that and won't want any sort of relationship with you.

Chances are it won't work, it sounds like you're in too deep at this point with being friends. But from the way you've worded it this seems like your best shot.

If it doesn't work out, just chalk this up as a lesson learned.


Also, girls don't necessarily always like asses. It's true, but only to an extent. I wasn't an ass by any means and I had my fair share of females in college. I was probably seen as "fun and exciting," like Galapogos mentioned, but I was, I think more importantly, seen as a "challenge" by girls. Girls had to do some work to get *me.* Girls like that challenge, they definitely don't go after the guy they *know* they can have.....they call those people their really good guy friends, or something like that.

That probably sounds like a cocky statement, and probably is....I was pretty cocky in college, or at least projected that image. In this case you have not, so she may *never* see you that way. I hate to burst your bubble, but like the old comercial states: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

Thats exactly what I was worried about. I think my best bet in this situation is to see other girls, see how this one reacts, and go from there.

That can probably work too, but it sounds like you're in way over your head with this girl and you may have passed the point of no return. Either telling her straight up or seeing other people is your best bet...

Good luck.

[Reidak]

Yeah, I was kind of hoping otherwise but im in too deep now, I let myself fall into the friends zone and I think this ones a lesson for sure. I can't force it, so ill just say if it happens it happens.

[Irisheyes]

sneak up on her from behind when she's not lookin and smack yuor willie in her crack. uyou will know when you have hit gold because she will slap uyou in the face , chicks dig dat shit. Go smack a hoe youn'g one wit the force of men.

[bigred]

I dunno, I've been good friends with people I hooked up with later. I don't think the friend zone is a death sentence. See some other people but don't just assume it's dead with her. Oh, and bang her sister.

[Irisheyes]

If big red posted a semiseriois response then thi must be too serious a thread for me I retract my former statement.

[Reidak]

I dunno, I've been good friends with people I hooked up with later. I don't think the friend zone is a death sentence. See some other people but don't just assume it's dead with her. Oh, and bang her sister.

Shes got a brother.

Im hoping your right about the death sentence thing.

[bigred]

I dated a girl for 3 years who was originally a good friend of mine senior year of high school. People are friends with each other because there's something in that person that attracts them. I don't think there is any real death sentence.

Don't be a dick to her though. Say you had a bad day if she asks. Sometimes there's things more important than your dick, like a good friend...and who knows maybe she'll come around.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

I dunno, I've been good friends with people I hooked up with later. I don't think the friend zone is a death sentence. See some other people but don't just assume it's dead with her. Oh, and bang her sister.

Friend zone isn't a death sentence.



You're really screwing up with the ignoring her thing. Your just acting like a depressed, pussy, attention whore. It is complicated to deal with these things though, because usually the people who are giving the advice have never dealt with this before or don't know how the hell they got out of it.


There's a girl from my hometown that i had the same thing with. We were in the "friends zone" for a long time. Then i left home and went off to college, talking to her occassionally. Then one day we were talking and she pretty much just told me she wanted to fuck.

Strange how that works... any thoughts on it guys?

[bigred]

Strange how that works... any thoughts on it guys?

Do her or send her to me, what thinking is needed, you "depressed, pussy, attention whore."

[StageWhisper]

lol @ boys

[Galapogos]

I dunno, I've been good friends with people I hooked up with later. I don't think the friend zone is a death sentence.

This is so true. Everyone keeps talking about "falling" into the friends zone. It's not some bottomless pit you can't get out of. It's more like the wrong side of the road. You just have to wait or find a spot when the traffics right to cross. And if you don't know how to cross the street, let this be a lesson not to slowplay.

And if I do say so myself that wrong side of the road analogy is some quality shit to come up with off the top of my head! :P

[Numbr2intheWorld]

Strange how that works... any thoughts on it guys?

Do her or send her to me, what thinking is needed, you "depressed, pussy, attention whore."

LOL. i meant any thoughts on why this sudden change occured...

[swiggidy]

I dunno, I've been good friends with people I hooked up with later. I don't think the friend zone is a death sentence.

This is so true. Everyone keeps talking about "falling" into the friends zone. It's not some bottomless pit you can't get out of.

Agreed. I ended up dating my best friend from High School for 3 years (it started with us hooking up one night at a party).

When I meet girls now I try and approach it as being friends. If she's at least moderately interesting (in a I want to hook up with you sense) I'll throw in some flirty sexual innuendo type comments to see if she bites. If not I say let it fall into the friend zone. They you meet her friends and hook up with them. This works well for me.

let this be a lesson not to slowplay.

I like this better than the road analogy.

Did you intentionally mis-spell Galapagos?

[euphoricism]

Oh for fucks sake.

http://www.fastseduction.com/archive...ve_mystery.zip

Download it. Read every post. Theres only 3000 or so of them. This guy is the king.

[swiggidy]

^^ it starts good, but...

In "Opening Lines" he suggests asking the girl to pull your finger and either actually farting or making the noise? Seems like a terrible idea to me.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

^^ it starts good, but...

In "Opening Lines" he suggests asking the girl to pull your finger and either actually farting or making the noise? Seems like a terrible idea to me.

I just read a bit of this, but i've seen many similar things.

It also seems a little ridiculous to me too. I know guys who are amazing with women and they don't do this shit. It seems more directed at an olderish audience (and by older i mean out of college)

[Numbr2intheWorld]

When I meet girls now I try and approach it as being friends. If she's at least moderately interesting (in a I want to hook up with you sense) I'll throw in some flirty sexual innuendo type comments to see if she bites. If not I say let it fall into the friend zone. They you meet her friends and hook up with them. This works well for me.

Great point. You meet a lot of hot girls by just being friends with mediocre ones.

[Galapogos]

let this be a lesson not to slowplay.

I like this better than the road analogy.

Did you intentionally mis-spell Galapagos?

That analogy applies more to early on in the relationship.

Galapogos is an old Smashing Pumpkins song. Back when I first came across the internet I was a little super fan of theirs and thought Galapogos was a cool sounding name. I've just stuck with it since mainly for consistancy.

[euphoricism]

^^ it starts good, but...

In "Opening Lines" he suggests asking the girl to pull your finger and either actually farting or making the noise? Seems like a terrible idea to me.

Its not. Be "cutsie". The "press my elevator button" is my favorite. Always gets a smile.

[Ash256]

http://www.laddertheory.com/

I read that a month ago or so with a friend, a good laugh.

Right now im the intellectual whore.. my plan is to climb down the friends ladder, walk along the edge of the abyss, and then hopefully get on the real ladder.

I'm a fuckin cuddle bitch.

[swiggidy]

Its not. Be "cutsie". The "press my elevator button" is my favorite. Always gets a smile.

Please explain

I'm a fuckin cuddle bitch.

How does this happen? I love cuddling and I've slept with several girls where nothing happened (usually involves passing out), but it was always a one time thing. If I'm sexually interested in her I can't sleep so it's even more terrible.

[thenonsequitur]

IMO, this whole discussion is way too based-on-logic for the subject matter. I believe that intuitive judgment plays a huge role here, and that's something that is based primarily on your own experience, and on the particular individual(s) involved (that's something that people on a forum outside your circle of live friends can make few accurate judgment calls about). Take 65% what "feels" right, add in 25% the advice you get here, and throw in a 10% random factor. That's your solution.

[euphoricism]

I disagree, its just like poker. Or maybe poker is just like life. In any case, theres a definite skill factor and a definite luck factor. In the long run, the skilled will prevail.

Swiggidy:
The "press my elevator button" is one of Mystery's favorites. When approaching a female who happens to be sitting you hold out your palm, ask her to 'press your elevator button' and then you slowly sit down and make a "bsssshhzzzttt" kinda sound. Then you do a man-giggle and say your neice/nephew loves that one.

Its an icebreaker.

Read everything by mystery in the zip file I posted above. I promise his stuff works. He's got a definite step-by-step plan in which yes, the first step is "crash and burn as much as possible". It sucks, but once youre over the fear of rejection, EVERYTHING is easier.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

Swiggidy:
The "press my elevator button" is one of Mystery's favorites. When approaching a female who happens to be sitting you hold out your palm, ask her to 'press your elevator button' and then you slowly sit down and make a "bsssshhzzzttt" kinda sound. Then you do a man-giggle and say your neice/nephew loves that one.

Its an icebreaker.

I just can't imagine someone actually doing this...

I'm not questioning if it works, it probably does, i just would like to see it.

[salsa4ever]

I've had some experience with the friends and lovers thing... in fact the Gloria Loring duet "friends and lovers" ought to be my theme song.

The most important thing I've learned can be summarized in a chinese phrase that literally means "allow fate". Nothing turns off anybody, male or female, more than desperation. Don't try to plan stuff out or use "plays" cos it's not a poker game. Just be yourself and let the chips fall as they may.

You've made a mistake and missed your best opportunity. As long as you've (belatedly) gotten it across to her that you like her quite a bit she would have given you some positive response by now if she was interested. From what you've written I'd bet she doesn't want to fuck you silly she just wants to be friends. And if that's the case it's not worth forcing the issue. You didn't die wondering. You didn't even die; there's way worse things that can happen in life than becoming platonic friends with a girl whose company you enjoy. See it as a blessing.

(I'm not saying you should be a pussy, but if you've flirted and dropped hints and pretty much tried to date her and she's not interested, then she's not interested. I'm sure you've only wanted to be friends with girls too, how would you feel if they were so pushy?)

As a salsa dancer, I've come to really appreciate and cherish the "look and flirt and touch but don't fuck" friendships I make. Sometimes I wish I could go further, but if I've tried and it's not to be, then I cherish it for what it is. If every girl makes friends with you and only wants to stay friends then you need to look at what you're doing. But if it's just a minority, then it's not my problem it's theirs.

[thenonsequitur]

The most important thing I've learned can be summarized in a chinese phrase that literally means "allow fate".

Do you happen to know the actual phrase (i.e. in Chinese)?

[sandstorm]

http://iwforums.com

[euphoricism]

Salsa, youre a giant vagina.

[swiggidy]

^^ That's not very nice. I think salsa makes some good points.

http://iwforums.com

This reminds me of most poker forums. Some good information but it's buried under piles of useless crap and a ton of brag posts.

[thenonsequitur]

So I found a video of this "Mystery" guy:

http://dallaspua.com/video_mystery_shittests.htm

First of all, he's a 7-foot tall half-goth drama-geek.

But that aside, for a self-proclaimed expert, this is pretty weak. He's just having a conversation, playing some ego games, and flirting a little. Anybody can do that, and plenty can do it better. He comes off as forced and unnatural, and his timing is off. His witticisms are either prepackaged or not very clever.

This only works as well as it does because the girl he's talking to is drunk. The only thing he's really got going for him is is a high level of confidence.

After seeing this guy, I'd be hard-pressed to take advice from him.

[euphoricism]

Ugh yeah he didnt used to do that shit. He used to be a blazer and slacks guy. But anyway, what he looks like has absolutely nothing to do with what he's saying.

[euphoricism]

Also he's doing "shit tests" which are when a girl puts up verbal barriers that you have to break down. She's saying "im not interested, I wont sleep with you, yadda yadda" And you counter this by basically saying "shut up, I'm in control" but uh, nicer than that. This may be where his "forced and unnatural" is coming from.

[salsa4ever]

Salsa, youre a giant vagina.

I'm saying: just let the chips fall, because I have a well developed sense of self value and I can appreciate friends for what they are. The fact they don't want to fuck me (yet) doesn't impugn on my character or how attractive I am. I'm happy with the way I am and I know if I stay true to myself, I'll get most girls. If I can't get this one, fine we'll just be friends.

You say: OMG I AM SUCH A PLAYA!!! I have to make every girl I'm after sleep with me. Cos it's a challenge and I'm a fucking balla. I have to prove my self worth by conquering women cos it's the only way I know. I have no sense of intuition whether the girl likes me or not so I use a scattergun approach and say "shut up I'm in control" to every girl and rely on a process of elimination (i.e. I didn't get slapped; ergo, I have a chance).

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree

[euphoricism]

Not even remotely close to anything I've said, hell I've been with the same girl for almost 3 years now, but hey thanks for playing. Putting words in peoples mouths is the surest way to win an argument, you can plan what theyre going to say in advance!

The question was "How do I jump ladders?" and you wrote something completely and totally irrelevant to that conversation. This isn't about "being a playa and nailing every girl we meet". A persons reasons for picking up girls is none of my concern. I could care less if you nail every girl you meet or if you only use this to find "the one". I don't give a shit. This thread was about methodology and your methodology is "I dont care to have a methodology and if a girl just likes me as a friend thats fine with me" which is fine and dandy, congrats I don't care, but thats not what we're talking about here.

[salsa4ever]

Not even remotely close to anything I've said, hell I've been with the same girl for almost 3 years now, but hey thanks for playing. Putting words in peoples mouths is the surest way to win an argument, you can plan what theyre going to say in advance!

The question was "How do I jump ladders?" and you wrote something completely and totally irrelevant to that conversation. This isn't about "being a playa and nailing every girl we meet". A persons reasons for picking up girls is none of my concern. I could care less if you nail every girl you meet or if you only use this to find "the one". I don't give a shit. This thread was about methodology and your methodology is "I dont care to have a methodology and if a girl just likes me as a friend thats fine with me" which is fine and dandy, congrats I don't care, but thats not what we're talking about here.

nice riposte

In my experience the best methodology is not to have a methodology. Do you think people are so stupid they can't see through that shit? If you're good enough to pull off that shit, then in 99% of cases you would have landed the fish without it

[Da GOAT]

when she is on the rebound from a break up your ass better be there!! make sure she goes out with you ALONE for drinks etc but tell her NOT to talk about her fella but just have a good time. soon she will come round to you within a few hours.

I dont recommend just telling her you like her but DO kinda start giving her compliments, sutble at first then go all out with ''wow i meet angelina jolie last year and she looked almost as good as you''

Panties by off before you finish the sentenence

[Numbr2intheWorld]

when she is on the rebound from a break up your ass better be there!! make sure she goes out with you ALONE for drinks etc but tell her NOT to talk about her fella but just have a good time. soon she will come round to you within a few hours.

I dont recommend just telling her you like her but DO kinda start giving her compliments, sutble at first then go all out with ''wow i meet angelina jolie last year and she looked almost as good as you''

Panties by off before you finish the sentenence

lol, worst advice ever.

[Da GOAT]

lol, worst advice ever.

its GOLD

[koolmoe]

The question was "How do I jump ladders?" and you wrote something completely and totally irrelevant to that conversation. This isn't about "being a playa and nailing every girl we meet". A persons reasons for picking up girls is none of my concern. I could care less if you nail every girl you meet or if you only use this to find "the one". I don't give a shit. This thread was about methodology and your methodology is "I dont care to have a methodology and if a girl just likes me as a friend thats fine with me" which is fine and dandy, congrats I don't care, but thats not what we're talking about here.

Don't be a douche. Pickup lines don't have anything to do with jumping ladders and that hasn't stopped you nor anyone else from posting about them.

I think s4e's advice is quite good. If you maintain an attitude of abundance rather than scarcity, you won't seem so desperate. There are plenty of women available if you are open to it, and adopting that attitude is the key to making you more desirable to the one you want.

Like it or not, we are rarely as attracted to someone we could have on a whim as we are to the one we want but can't have. Staying engaged but aloof is at the heart of every pickup strategy.

[bigred]

All I can promise you is 3 inches of the worst 20 seconds of your life.

[euphoricism]

Not even remotely close to anything I've said, hell I've been with the same girl for almost 3 years now, but hey thanks for playing. Putting words in peoples mouths is the surest way to win an argument, you can plan what theyre going to say in advance!

The question was "How do I jump ladders?" and you wrote something completely and totally irrelevant to that conversation. This isn't about "being a playa and nailing every girl we meet". A persons reasons for picking up girls is none of my concern. I could care less if you nail every girl you meet or if you only use this to find "the one". I don't give a shit. This thread was about methodology and your methodology is "I dont care to have a methodology and if a girl just likes me as a friend thats fine with me" which is fine and dandy, congrats I don't care, but thats not what we're talking about here.

nice riposte

In my experience the best methodology is not to have a methodology. Do you think people are so stupid they can't see through that shit? If you're good enough to pull off that shit, then in 99% of cases you would have landed the fish without it

Thats so silly it borders on absurd. People are social creatures, and theres a whole branch of science called "social science" which studies the interactions between human beings. To say there is no such thing as a methodology to human interaction is just well, wrong. Social interactions are a learned skill, and there absolutely ARE people who specialize in convincing others to do what they want. This does not make them "Bad" or "evil", it makes them "social engineers". And theres thousands of books written on the subject. Hell, Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" has been a best seller for how many decades now? What do you think that book is? You don't think it works?

You sound naive.

[Phantaroth]

Okay boys, settle down before you get a trip to the timeout chair.

Honestly, how are you arguing in a thread like this? Seems a bit silly.

[Da GOAT]

i retract my oroginal stupid post, i read more at the start and it actually was serious.

i agree with the first half before swiggidy got to the post

lol

i was mates with my gf since 16 but mates as in knew each a fair bit (nothing if what OP seems to have). hooked up a few months back. i did fancy her a small bit back then but i was busy with others mistakes. anyway OP if you can get a bird who is a mate first on some level i think its a very good thing to have, tell us how you got on (BTW i stopped reading half if someone wants to qoute what happened plz do).

[Reidak]

i retract my oroginal stupid post, i read more at the start and it actually was serious.

i agree with the first half before swiggidy got to the post

lol

i was mates with my gf since 16 but mates as in knew each a fair bit (nothing if what OP seems to have). hooked up a few months back. i did fancy her a small bit back then but i was busy with others mistakes. anyway OP if you can get a bird who is a mate first on some level i think its a very good thing to have, tell us how you got on (BTW i stopped reading half if someone wants to qoute what happened plz do).

Alright well ill update.. Its pretty much the same as it was before but the way im seeing it now is completely different. Before, I used to think if we spent enough time together she would share the same feelings I had for her, unfortuantley I now know the err of my ways and I see that it has done quite the opposite. Before I was sort of frusturated and mad and upset and all that, about the fact that I didnt feel she was reciprocating what I wanted her to. But now I know that it was my fault all along, I never made it apparent enough about how I felt. For all I know she might have been feeling it too, but I've officially killed it in those terms, I think.

So now im here, the same place I was before, but enlightened. I saved myself alot of time and energy. Instead of spending 4 or 5 hours, I can drop in for a 15, 20 minute visit and I know its doing me more good.

I have by no means rolled over on the topic. Im not forcing it, im stringing it along. Im determined, but not fixated.. its something I want, but I can live without it. Im already looking into other girls.

So yeah. Ill keep you guys posted on any miracles :P

[bigspenda73]

i retract my oroginal stupid post, i read more at the start and it actually was serious.

i agree with the first half before swiggidy got to the post

lol

i was mates with my gf since 16 but mates as in knew each a fair bit (nothing if what OP seems to have). hooked up a few months back. i did fancy her a small bit back then but i was busy with others mistakes. anyway OP if you can get a bird who is a mate first on some level i think its a very good thing to have, tell us how you got on (BTW i stopped reading half if someone wants to qoute what happened plz do).

Teach me to talk like this!!

BTW, I stand by my statements. OP really doesn't care to keep her as a friend so be a douchebag and see how far it gets ya.

[salsa4ever]

Not even remotely close to anything I've said, hell I've been with the same girl for almost 3 years now, but hey thanks for playing. Putting words in peoples mouths is the surest way to win an argument, you can plan what theyre going to say in advance!

The question was "How do I jump ladders?" and you wrote something completely and totally irrelevant to that conversation. This isn't about "being a playa and nailing every girl we meet". A persons reasons for picking up girls is none of my concern. I could care less if you nail every girl you meet or if you only use this to find "the one". I don't give a shit. This thread was about methodology and your methodology is "I dont care to have a methodology and if a girl just likes me as a friend thats fine with me" which is fine and dandy, congrats I don't care, but thats not what we're talking about here.

nice riposte

In my experience the best methodology is not to have a methodology. Do you think people are so stupid they can't see through that shit? If you're good enough to pull off that shit, then in 99% of cases you would have landed the fish without it

Thats so silly it borders on absurd. People are social creatures, and theres a whole branch of science called "social science" which studies the interactions between human beings. To say there is no such thing as a methodology to human interaction is just well, wrong. Social interactions are a learned skill, and there absolutely ARE people who specialize in convincing others to do what they want. This does not make them "Bad" or "evil", it makes them "social engineers". And theres thousands of books written on the subject. Hell, Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" has been a best seller for how many decades now? What do you think that book is? You don't think it works?

You sound naive.

I actually have that book. Yeah it's a best seller, but frankly I think it's decent but overrated. Reading it for the first time I thought to my self "duh...." every 2 minutes or so.

Carnegie's book is one of guidelines. It doesn't try to give you a specific methodology. When I say "act naturally", I'm implicitly assuimng you're not naturally a social retard. I think it causes unneccessary heartache when one stubbornly tries to alter the will of other people. I mean, we only have so much energy and I'm saying to save it for the stuff that really matters. Don't kill youreslf trying to convince this one girl to fuck you if it's just too hard. In poker lingo, find a better spot.

Have you read Carnegie's "How to Stop Worring and Start Living"?

I actually agree with a lot of what you say. I just think the comment you made that my approach to life of picking your battles, counting your blessings, respecting the wishes of others and avoiding unneccessary pressure on oneselfmade me a "giant vagina" is patently unfair. I assure you i've gone through the "methodology" phase even in my rather short life. I'm much happier now.

[Reidak]

Sort of a mini update

A couple days ago I was chatting with the girl in question about stuff. Anyways me having sex with a couple other girls at the moment came up somehow, and she asked why I'm still single. I said something along the lines of them both being "one-dimensional" due to the fact theres only one thing I appreciate about them (easy).

Anyways the other night I was at her place visiting and we were talking and stuff and I forget the circumstances but basically unprovoked she stated something like "im one dimensional to you" she didnt ask me, she stated, not in those exact words but something very close to it.

Any tells on that?

I also told her I vauled what we had 10x more than what I did with the girls I just straight fuck. And I honestly do, btw. Geting laid is easy.

she said she was "honoured" - not being sarcastic though.

Who says honoured in that spot?.. this was over msn fyi.

Thanks boys.

[Warpe]

Hit it.