Forming Opinions

[Zee Devee]

I really don't know what I am trying to get across writing this post, so if you don't want to read blabble close this now.

I seem to have trouble forming my own opinions. I take everyone's opinion on things and see their points, and without so much as questioning them (if they have references) and believing them. Most of the advice on here, even if it is wrong, I go along with their logic, thinking they are right, until someone points out how wrong they are.

People around me regard me as an intelligent person, but I find this hole in my intellectual growth disturbing. All of my friends "know" that I am the smartest one in the group, because in school I don't need to work hard to get good grades- I can understand the processes involved with math or other subjects faster than them, and perhaps the fact that I don't question it makes it easier.

When I get into an argument with some of them I lose most of the time, partly because I believe whatever they say, and because I cannot remember why I believe some of the things I do- like someone tells me an opinion and I belive them because they made good points and sense, yet I cannot recall that during an argument.

Once again, I do not know what I am trying to accomplish by writing this. Perhaps I am looking for help from the hundreds of crazy-intelligent people here. Perhaps I am looking for consolance with people saying they know how I feel and I am not alone. Maybe I am even just in a bad place right now and can't see things in a broad sense. I am not sure.

If you did read all of that, why?

[bigspenda73]

why?

Best part of your post and something you should be asking yourself everytime you read anything on here.

[gabe]

shall we tell you why you made this post?

[boost]

staying open to lots of different views is a mark of intelligence, blindly following opinions is a mark of laziness/stupidity.

You seem to have a humorous mix of the two.

[swiggidy]

You seem to have a humorous mix of the two.

funny

Your in your first couple years of college right? It will come with time.

I've realized, some people won't change their mind. So it doesn't matter if you somewhat agree with what they say, they don't care that the other part is wrong. So I just give up and move on. Unless I'm drunk, then I'll argue for the sake of arguing (only if this person is 100% set in their mind, which is the only thing wrong 100% of the time) because it amuses me.

[CRUSHER]

I would guess you are a very nice person. I would also guess you dislike offending anyone and are less apt to 'argue' a point and choose to respond diplomatically instead. While this makes for a pleasant conversation, you are probably starting to feel like you're not being yourself and have begun to question why.

Being open to other viewpoints is, as BoostnSlide said, a sign of intelligence. Continue to be open minded, listen to other points of view but also interject your own thoughts where appropriate. Chances are, your thoughts will be appreciated and it will actually build your confidence. You can still be a nice person and have opposing viewpoints. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum of my family when it comes to politics, yet we can share viewpoints, and still remain close. There are some people who argue loudly and continuously so taking the opposite approach works well. Find a subject you are passoniate about, think about the issues and try to articulate them next time.

Then ask 'why?'

[IowaSkinsFan]

You sound like me.

Open mindedness is a good thing.
But the truth is what you realize is anyone can be right if they argue it right, and not a lot of people are able to admit when they are wrong. It's hard to have a mix of knowing when to admit when your wrong and knowing when to say "no, I need you to understand this" or both!

My best friends always tell me how I have to stand up for myself more. I still haven't figured out how you can admit when your wrong but also stay on your point.

[Unibomber14]

Don't worry so much about it. Look, when you post a hand or something, wait for a few responses. Then post your own comments on your hand. This will allow others to see your reasoning behind what you did. It also allows for you to get your opinions down in writing. You'll find that when you critique your own play, you are also challenging the responses of the other posters. Also, don't worry about correcting others, or even making your own convincing arguments for that matter. Debate is a skill. Some have it, some don't. As far as FTR goes though, just sit back and let more experienced posters correct those messed up posts until you're comfortable with it. You will find that when you go about your day to day, you will follow your own beliefs regardless whether you saw someone else's point or not.

Also, find someone on this site who you agree with a good percentage of the time, and get his/her opinion on any subject you have issues with (PM, or get their AIM name or something).

[Zee Devee]

I've realized, some people won't change their mind. So it doesn't matter if you somewhat agree with what they say, they don't care that the other part is wrong. So I just give up and move on.

Yes but what if the logic they use seems good, so you start abandoning your own beliefs because the way they put it made sense, but when you hear someone else debate it, you can see that the 2nd person is right, and the first person had faulty logic- but you couldn't see the faulty logic because they put the logic step by step making it easily believable?

You seem to have a humorous mix of the two.

I'm a riot, what can I say?

But the truth is what you realize is anyone can be right if they argue it right, and not a lot of people are able to admit when they are wrong. It's hard to have a mix of knowing when to admit when your wrong and knowing when to say "no, I need you to understand this" or both!

When I know 100% I am right or wrong then I know I can make people understand or say I am wrong. I just have trouble seperating facts from lies, and make out what I believe by the analysis of the facts and disregard the lies.

I would guess you are a very nice person. I would also guess you dislike offending anyone and are less apt to 'argue' a point and choose to respond diplomatically instead. While this makes for a pleasant conversation, you are probably starting to feel like you're not being yourself and have begun to question why.

yep.

shall we tell you why you made this post?

I sense sarcasm here, but if you could actually tell me why I wrote that without ever meeting or talking to me you have an amazing perception of human behavior (provided you were right); which might be why you are so good at poker.

However, I still think its a joke.

[|~|ypermegachi]

perhaps you don't like confrontation. disagreeing with someone often means confrontation. so if you just agree, you avoid it altogether. after all, it's very hard to change someone else's mind unless they want to.

[pgil]

perhaps you need to take an intro logic course. It will, among other things, introduce you to analyzing arguments in a methodical way which allows you to cut through BS easier.

or you could attempt to go to the polar opposite of your current situation, and not believe anything anyone tells you until they convince you it is true. Every little statement can be questioned. try it for a while at least. it's fun.