Are strippers normal people just like me? Not by any stretch of the means, but there are some guidelines for proper strip club behavior. What are some strip club guidelines and etiquette?


1.DO treat lap dances like rounds. Buy them for your friends and have them buy them for you.

2.DON'T comment on how well stretch marks or c-section scars show up under blacklight.

3.DO tip the ugly dancers at least a dollar when you send them into the VIP lounge or dressing room to fetch a sexier dancer at your request. They have kids to feed, too.

4.DON'T ask about a stripper’s personal life. Ever. Unless you want what little faith in humanity you have shattered.

5.DON'T try to tip the stripper with a sandwich. You will get kicked out.

6.DO NOT get into an argument with a stupid stripper. No matter what you say, she will state some inflated earning potential ("I make $700 a night") as the very definition of her existence, which justifies everything she's ever done with her wasted life as correct. No matter if she couldn’t earn $7 stripping at a dog track, she’ll still say it. As a general rule, take what any ugly stripper says she earns and divide by ten, then divide by 2 for her true earning potential.


Keep em rollin guys!