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 Random Facts about Vin Diesel and a few about Chuck Norris
I stole this from a post on another forum btu they stole from a website so I sat fair use!
Vin Diesel started the fire, and he keeps it burning but the earth keeps turning because of gravity.
Vin Diesel can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Vin Diesel is connected to Kevin Bacon by 0 degrees, despite not being Kevin Bacon.
Leap years are caused by Vin Diesel holding the earth back from rotating.
For every Vin Diesel, there is an equal and opposite Vin Diesel. Upon hearing this, Vin Diesel killed his opposite, causing space-time to unravel. Consequently, we are all living in Vin Diesel's imagination.
Vin Diesel sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
Vin Diesel can solve a Rubik's Cube in one move.
Vin Diesel taught Yoda everything he knows. Except his poor grammar.
Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.
If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Vin Diesel wins.
They say all of the music on The Postal Service's hit CD "Give Up" is electronic. It was recently proven that that's a boldfaced lie. Vin Diesel made all of those sounds with his very own mouth.
Vin Diesel dipped a blade into the ocean; four perfect drops spilled back, and those became the islands of Japan.
Vin Diesel likes to walk around with his penis pushed back between his legs. He calls it his Vin-gina.
One of Vin Diesel's eyes is lazy, but through sheer willpower he can make it move in synch with his good eye. Nobody knows which is which.
Vin Diesel has an evil twin who he converted to good, thus turning himself evil.
Vin Diesel masturbates with sand paper because it makes him feel tough.
Vin Diesel is so tall that his field of vision goes all the way around the world, and he can see his own .
The Hulk is really just Vin Diesel painted green.
The French insulted Vin Diesel 500 years ago because his name means "Gasoline Wine" in French. His revenge is the reason they've been too scared to fight ever since.
When asked why he swam the entire lengths of both the Atlantic and Indian Oceans, Diesel responded that he wanted to prove Australia didn't exist. When asked if his theory was correct, he proceeded on breakdancing to Madonna's "like a virgin" for 7 days and 6 nights.
If God made a burrito so hot that even He could not eat it, Vin Diesel would eat it with Fire sauce from Taco Bell.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
Vin Diesel gets yahtzee. Every time.
Vin Diesel's 1969 paper on quantum mechanics is the reason why Stephen Hawking is in a wheel chair.
When Vin Diesel eats a pack of Starbursts, all of them are pink.
Vin Diesel can whistle Beethoven's entire Fifth Overture, while underwater. This comes as no surprise, considering he helped write it.
If you play Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' album whilst watching 'The Wizard of Oz' on the TV with no sound, Dorothy will turn into Vin Diesel and rape all the Munchkins.
Prices increase when Vin Diesel walks down the aisles in Wal*Mart.
If you cut one of Vin Diesel's limbs off, it will grow back twice as large.
Vin Diesel will always exist as long as there is hatred in the hearts of men.
Vin Diesel once beat a man to death with his own skull, to prove that it is indeed physically possible.
When Vin Diesel farts in India, it rains in Rio. Don't ask why.
you may argue this point to the death, but... Vin Diesel's name backwards is Tiffany Dunk.
The sinking of Atlantis was actually caused by Vin Diesel's sobbing over his favorite character's death in Beverly Hill 90210. He would have raised it again, but Melrose Place came on.
The stock market rises and falls according to the length of Vin Deisel's fingernails.
Vin Diesel recently added 'moose' to his "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list.
Vin Diesel can Feng Shui your living room in less than ten minutes using only his rectum.
Vin Diesel cannot be seen by eskimos, only heard.
Vin Diesel had conclusive scientific proof that Pi equaled exactly 3, but his dog ate it. He then devoured the dog.
Vin Diesel spelled backwards is Vin Diesel. If you get Leseid Niv, you did it wrong.
Vin Diesel bites straight into hot pizza, without blowing first.
Vin Diesel was once locked in a dark room, and the dark got scared.
Vin Diesel can make 30 minute brownies in 10 minutes.
When asked "Why is the sky blue?," Vin Diesel replied "Because I ran out of red."
Vin Diesel is not in fact bald, but has discovered the secret of limited invisibility.
When in Rome, Vin Diesel does not do as the Romans do.
When golfing, if you accidentally miss the fairway, yelling 'Vin Diesel' will make the ball automatically appear on the green. Just try not to use it too often.
What doesn’t kill you, only makes Vin Diesel stronger.
Paradoxically, half of Vin Diesel equals one Vin Diesel. This means that one quarter Vin Diesel also equals one Vin Diesel, and on and on forever. The Vin Diesel that we perceive is the sum total of an infinite amount of Vin Diesels and his powers reflect this.
Too may Vin Diesels do not spoil the broth. They make it better.
Vin Diesel does not spank the monkey, he spanks King Kong.
The new Airbus A380 can carry as much as 850 passengers 5% farther than the Boeing 747 for 5% less cost. So can Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel's High School prank was Western Civilization.
Vin Diesel is Darth Vader's father.
Vin Diesel killed Kenny. He is a bastard.
Vin Diesel can express the root of -1 through interperative dance.
Vin Diesel invented Taiwan just to piss off China.
The combination to Vin Diesel's luggage is amazingly 1-2-3-4-5.
Vin Diesel's mother used to pack him TWO lunchables.
Vin Diesel is the original metrosexual. He is waiting for the market to ripen before he reveals that he has moved up 7 echelons to become the universe's first cosmosexual.
Vin Diesel was the one who let the dogs out.
When Vin Diesel told the Microsoft Word paper clip to go away, it never came back.
Disproving the greatest physicists of our time, Chuck Norris proved that he is, in fact, the center of the universe. To avoid suspicion, Chuck Norris now resides in the center of the Sun.
At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.
Chuck Norris has caused approximately five hundred thousand dollars worth of damage solely from kicking people out of windows.
When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he attacks sharks.
Making eye contact with Chuck Norris, unless explicitly requested by him, will result in getting your literally handed to you.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. That is, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
To prove that beating cancer is no big deal, Chuck Norris smoked fifteen cartons of cigarettes per day for two years, so he could acquire seven different types of cancer. He then vanquished the illnesses simply by flexing.
Chuck Norris's wife once burned the Thanksgiving turkey. Chuck went into the backyard and came back five minutes later with a live turkey and ate it whole. A few seconds later, he threw it up and it was fully cooked. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and told her to "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris once shot down an airplane by simply pointing at it and saying “Bang.”
Chuck Norris was actually the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of the "beard", which Jesus wore proudly until his dying day. The other Wiseman, jealous of the favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
After taking the first steps on the moon and saying the immortal words, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind", Neil Armstrong looked to his right, only to see Chuck Norris there on the moon, sitting on a lawn chair drinking a beer.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If the priests in the movie "The Exorcist" had just said, "The power of Chuck Norris compels you" instead of "The power of Christ compels you," the movie would only have lasted seconds.
When appearing in court in , Chuck Norris refused to be sworn in with the bible, saying that it meant nothing to him. He was instead sworn in with a DVD copy of “Walker, Texas Ranger”.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
Vin Diesel makes onions cry.
In any given room, there are countless objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the entire room itself.
When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When Vin Diesel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin.
Vin Diesel once met Fabio on the street. Vin burst into laughter, Fabio burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.
Even Vin Diesel doesn't know why no fact has a rating of or above. .
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives." .
There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Screw you, team.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with. .
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is ****" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been referred to as Christmas. .
In an average living room there are, 2000 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Vin Diesel was the hunter who shot Bambi's Mother. He then wore her carcass like it was a coat while he made his rounds at the local children's hospital.
Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.
The Diary of Anne Frank was actually based on Vin Diesel's life story. Only the ending was different. In real life, Vin kicked the **** out of the Nazis and went on to fight Robo-Hitler in a daring light saber battle.
Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.
Vin Diesel's favorite pick-up line is, "Get in my fucking truck before I shoot you." It works every time.
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
It takes puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only to make him destroy an orphanage.
Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Vin Diesel ripped out of all Charlie Brown's hair but left a single strand to remind him one day he'd come back to eat him.
When Vin Diesel falls off his horse he never gets back on. Why? Because he never falls off his fucking horse.
On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun
Vin Diesel accidentally invented the sport of jousting when he went horseback riding in the middle ages with an erection
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Originally Posted by mrhappy333
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