Please give me advice guys

[Sir Pawnalot]

FTR has been very helpful for me, and I still think it is a great site. But with the amount of animosity I unintentionally create, there is impossible for me to have a rational discussion about poker.

Although many of you here in the commune find me weird, you have been incredibly friendly to me and I appreciate that a lot more than you can ever imagine. Maybe you can give me some honest feedback and answer my questions?

I love poker. When I am really into poker I think about it 24/7 for weeks and months at a time. I even dream about strategy and create theorems and postulations in my dreams. I would love to have somebody to talk with when it comes to poker.

But as I said initially, whenever I write about poker the discussions always get sidetracked into "Sir Pawnalot lolaments". Either people tell me to "gtfo", they post "fail pictures" or try to insult me one way or another. Rarely do people get topical, it always ends up personal.

Since I am a winner at all stakes and all games I ever played at on every site I ever played (this kind of writing puts people off- but it is just the truth)- I find it hard to believe that my strategy can possibly be that bad.

What is my options? Should I start every post with saying I have Asperger´s and that I am a social retard? Do not people remember that by now? Or should I ask a mod to change my name and post anonymous? Or is my only option to leave FTR for 2+2 or another forum?

I do not mind the hating at all, but I do mind not being able to have a rational discussion about the game I love.

Please do not respond that I should try to be more humble and not as condescending- because I am already trying my best to appear "normal".

Thank you for any feedback.

[flomo]

GTFO

[wufwugy]

Your mistake is thinking that the strategy forums know WTF they're talking about. I'm not going to go into detail why most of the non-basic strategy in the forums misses the point and gets it wrong.

AIM me. It's wufwugy. I'll talk NLHE all day. And it will be on a theory level, not a 'omg i play scared and look for any reason to not put money in middle unlike how actual good players play' level

[Sir Pawnalot]

AIM I am unfamiliar with, but it is like MSN right?

I am starting UNI again after a couple years of doing absolutely nothing, and my focus will be on studies. When I feel the urge to discuss concepts, theorems and postulations I will definitely contact you.

Maybe PM´s are just as easy, since I doubt I can keep up a discussion in real time? I like to think things through, and my brain is working pretty slow.

Thanks

[dthorne04]

lol

[Stacks]

lol

[wufwugy]

Ya so I just went over SHNL to see what all the fuss is about, and

SP, you're not as good as you think you are. Your 200nl post looks almost like a level. Which is fine, but if that post is any representation of the norm, there's reason for any clashing with you in the strategy forums.

[Sir Pawnalot]

That post had nothing to do with strategy. I even stated that.

People misunderstanding my intentions is the problem. I just wanted to say that people still make a lot of mistakes at 200NL.

I already gave up discussing strategy long time ago.

[spoonitnow]

Ya so I just went over SHNL to see what all the fuss is about, and

SP, you're not as good as you think you are. Your 200nl post looks almost like a level. Which is fine, but if that post is any representation of the norm, there's reason for any clashing with you in the strategy forums.

Coming from wuf this is goddamn hilarious and I'm bookmarking this for when 2009 POTY nominations come around.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Thank you for all feedback.

I understand your friendliness was fake, and that virtually no one likes me here-or in real life. I will not bother you anymore with my presence.

There is no reason for me to continue on living. I feel like a burden to anyone who meets me, and I want nothing more than the people of the world to prosper. This is best achieved without me.

Do not feel any guilt, because this is entirely my decision. Please spread happiness wherever you go, and remember that you have given me many happy moments.

This is my final goodbye.

[Stacks]

Thank you for all feedback.

I understand your friendliness was fake, and that virtually no one likes me here-or in real life. I will not bother you anymore with my presence.

There is no reason for me to continue on living. I feel like a burden to anyone who meets me, and I want nothing more than the people of the world to prosper. This is best achieved without me.

Do not feel any guilt, because this is entirely my decision. Please spread happiness wherever you go, and remember that you have given me many happy moments.

This is my final goodbye.

I wuz you?

[flomo]

isn't there a classic post about the "circle" of poker?

that might apply here

[givememyleg]

ftr community is srs bsns

[spoonitnow]

Thank you for all feedback.

I understand your friendliness was fake, and that virtually no one likes me here-or in real life. I will not bother you anymore with my presence.

There is no reason for me to continue on living. I feel like a burden to anyone who meets me, and I want nothing more than the people of the world to prosper. This is best achieved without me.

Do not feel any guilt, because this is entirely my decision. Please spread happiness wherever you go, and remember that you have given me many happy moments.

This is my final goodbye.

I know you're full of shit, and you have whatever reasons for doing what you do. So now I say, pics or it didn't happen.

[flomo]

fat b would be wanting a grease fire

[wufwugy]

Ya so I just went over SHNL to see what all the fuss is about, and

SP, you're not as good as you think you are. Your 200nl post looks almost like a level. Which is fine, but if that post is any representation of the norm, there's reason for any clashing with you in the strategy forums.

Coming from wuf this is goddamn hilarious and I'm bookmarking this for when 2009 POTY nominations come around.

I don't get it

[Jack Sawyer]

what the fuck is going on here? i leave ftr for a day and this is what I find upon returning?

Sir Panwalot, don't tell me you're an emo goth punk kid or some other fucked up combination? Get it together man, words cannot hurt you.

[bikes]

MUST BE EMOOOOOOOOOOO.

[Parasurama]

I would love to talk with you. I love weird people. I very much enjoyed the story you posted in the itty bitty thread. Please PM me a theory for us to discuss, and I promise I will be rational as long as you don't dig up an old post where I said I'm on a downswing as soon as I say you're wrong. I would also like to discuss strategy with you, if you think I can keep up because you probably have some insights that I couldn't reach on my own.

People have a problem with you because you make posts touting your own skill and accomplishments and the moment someone claims you probably aren't as good or your accomplishments aren't as impressive as you think, you resort to personal attacks.

We understand you have asperger's, or was it autism? You have claimed to have both in different places. The point is, if your condition prevents you from learning tact and common sense, you can't expect us to be sympathetic and slow down to tell you how smart you are all the time. This is an internet forum, not your family. We're all trying to learn and grow and succeed together. You are attacked because your posts are seen as deleterious to this mutual growth due to your skewed perception of your own talents. You either learn some humility and see what you can gain from and contribute to the forum, or, if you don't think what you have to gain is worth it, you leave.

I have so far tried to stay away from your threads because they get personal and because I always try to understand and make judgement's based on people's true intentions. I understand that your intention was to show that 200nl is soft. As I see it, there are two problems with this: 1) people on FTR don't/haven't really complained about 100/200nl being very hard or fishless, and 2) the hand history you posted is not a very good example of obviously bad play; villain's play could easily be justified given his opinion of you.

I could dig up your other threads and tell you what's wrong with your posts but I think I've made enough effort typing this much as it is.

[daven]

I understand your friendliness was fake, and that virtually no one likes me here-or in real life. I will not bother you anymore with my presence.

There is no reason for me to continue on living. I feel like a burden to anyone who meets me, and I want nothing more than the people of the world to prosper. This is best achieved without me.

dude, this is not the place for this sort of stuff. Threats of suicide are not cool, nor is suicide itself. And, trust me, suicide only ever has a net-negative effect on the world. Think about the people who have to deal with the aftermath, for starters...

Also, being criticised or disagreed with IS NOT the same as being disliked. Sometimes they happen in parallel though. Not everyone has to like you. Unless we are always correct about everything - and this is unlikely - then people should disagree with us from time to time. This isn't always done politely, but that's fine.

regarding liking or disliking you, i'm neutral on that front. I don't know you. I like some of what you have written here, but not all of what you have written here. I agree with some of your poker ideas, but not all of them.

My advice, calm down.

[BennyLaRue]

In all seriousness, you can't blame all this on Aspergers. Delusions, depression and threats of suicide...you quite possibly have a serious mental disorder. Seek help immediately.

[a500lbgorilla]

Sir Pawnalot was incapable of understanding an internet poker community. Which is why he was cool.

If you couldn't understand the voice behind all the posts on this forum, this place'll tear you apart.

The last place sir pawn should really be is on a forum where everyone tells everyone else they suck.

[flomo]

Sir Pawnalot was incapable of understanding an internet poker community. Which is why he was cool.

If you couldn't understand the voice behind all the posts on this forum, this place'll tear you apart.

The last place sir pawn should really be is on a forum where everyone tells everyone else they suck.

2p2 would be perfect for him, they are very encouraging

[a500lbgorilla]

Any poker forum would be really ideal.

[dthorne04]

[OP]

Look at what you guys did

[flomo]

Who is next?

[Ragnar4]

Who is next?

Me!

I suck at poker, and you guys are really nice to me, but no matter how nice you are I still suck.

Whenever I make a post about strategy, I am constructively criticized, and given the right pattern of thought by most of you, and when I'm wrong, you guys let me know in no uncertain terms that I am wrong. When I post good stuff, the smartest of you come in and help me refine my thinking.

WHY WON'T YOU JUST ADMIDT THAT I'M A GOOD PLAYER AND THAT MY IDEAS ARE ALL PERFECT AND CORRECT SO I CAN START WINNING MANIES?!

I hate you all. I'm gonna go cut myself for a while.

[Warpe]

sir pwn

[kevster]

Don't know what to make of this thread when drunk, so I think I'm gonna check out my kitchen knives.

P.S. I haven't read many of sirpawnstuffs posts but get the impression that he's foreign ya so like maybe a little tolerance is in order. Call me out if I'm gay.

[bikes]

Don't know what to make of this thread when drunk, so I think I'm gonna check out my kitchen knives.

P.S. I haven't read many of sirpawnstuffs posts but get the impression that he's foreign ya so like maybe a little tolerance is in order. Call me out if I'm gay.

The girl in your avatar will refute any claim about homosexuality here imo.

[OP]

[OP]

This thread has a very "4chan"esque theme

[Micro2Macro]

So since he's gone can we make this NSFW, this thread is lacking tits.

[kevster]

Don't know what to make of this thread when drunk, so I think I'm gonna check out my kitchen knives.

P.S. I haven't read many of sirpawnstuffs posts but get the impression that he's foreign ya so like maybe a little tolerance is in order. Call me out if I'm gay.

The girl in your avatar will refute any claim about homosexuality here imo.

I could be one of those homosexual females we're always hearing about.

[swiggidy]

Mr Pwns seems like an epic level. Not sure if that was mentioned in some other thread.

I haven't gotten any good poker advice from this site for like 6 months.

[wufwugy]

Only on 2p2 do you tend to find these kinds of things being levels. On the real internet, legit things like this happen a lot. I've personally witnessed it several times. Usually it's schizophrenia or manic/depression. And then there's that guy from BB.com that killed himself on live web cam.

[spoonitnow]

Only on 2p2 do you tend to find these kinds of things being levels. On the real internet, legit things like this happen a lot. I've personally witnessed it several times. Usually it's schizophrenia or manic/depression. And then there's that guy from BB.com that killed himself on live web cam.

lol the real internet

[Stacks]

I'm also pretty sure 90% of what Sir pawnalot was saying is a level, which is the main reason I gave him such a hard time. I have information that was shared via private messages that would corroborate my belief that it was most likely a level.

[BennyLaRue]

I'm also pretty sure 90% of what Sir pawnalot was saying is a level, which is the main reason I gave him such a hard time. I have information that was shared via private messages that would corroborate my belief that it was most likely a level.

A six month long level? His posts were always like that. Possible, but I doubt it.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Hello again.

I am not coming back, I just wanted to clear up the confusion.

First, I find it very offensive that you think I am a level. Only the craziest of the crazy would spend months on a level with people they do not even know. This fact alone is enough to prove I am crazy either way you look at it. Either way I would be a sick person.

Secondly, that "private information" which xxstacksxx is referring to must be understood in its original context. I was having a hard time understanding all the irony and sarcasm going on here, so I turned to iopq to help me with that. I sent him some PMs where I tried my best to be as ironic as possible. The true level in that post was that I was leveling the community- which was not true. A madman pretending to be normal is just as much a level as a sane person pretending to be insane.

Thirdly, I appreciate all the support you guys have given me. I was experiencing a mental breakdown, and could see no way out if it. After some days in the forrest, I think I have found the root of my problems.

My main problem was my integrity. After lengthy periods of meditation, I found my call here in life. I want to spread happiness and knowledge to the world, and this I could not do through playing poker. Poker is a zero sum game, where ones bread is another mans death. Poker felt more and more like stealing from the people I want to help.

The anger I felt towards myself for not living in congruence with my inner voice, made me project that very anger towards good people like xxstacksxx, spoonitnow, instant aces, dthorpe, sarbox and probably numerous others. I hated myself from not being able to love others, especially those who resented me. But the root of that hatred came from not being able to love myself.

I consider myself lucky to have come strengthened out of this existencial crisis of mine. It feels like I have made quantum leaps with my consciousness and my love for all beings is getting stronger by the day-myself included.

I started my thread "winning in poker" (I deleted that thread like most other threads I made) with the statement that I only played poker to prove my mental capabilities to myself. This is now achieved, and I feel greed is no longer part of me. Success, money, possessions, affirmation etc, were things I craved before- but this is no longer part of who I am.

The realizations I have made the last months, has made me understand that the animosity I experienced here was all in my head. I did not love myself, and this is in the universal language of the cosmos like asking for being disliked- even hated.

Winning in poker is all about truly believing that you are a winner. This goes for anyone who has ever succeded in anything. Do you think Usain Bolt truly thinks he sucks at running? Did Michael Schumacher doubt his driving skills? Did Wayne Gretzky think he was terrible at hockey?

These people rose to the top, but they were not always the best. But before they reached the pinnacle of great achievements, they had supreme confidence that they one day might be the best. This confidence in their own capacity for future greatness fuelled their motivation, attracted support from friends and familiy, gave them willpower to endure hardships- and ultimately enabled them to draw extreme power from deep within themselves.

Have faith in yourself, and have faith in others. Do not underestimate the great powers you have within and do not hesitate to utilize them for the good of humanity.

Please do not tell eachother how much you suck all the time. It is very counter productive in terms of improving as a poker player. The brain does not learn much when in a state of frenzy, sadness, anger, despair and other negative emotions. A calm and happy mind is receptive, and when we are receptive great thoughts and ideas come instantly and effortless.

I wish you all the best times of your lives, and may this forum give you the tools and knowledge needed to compete at any desired level.

nhsir

[Stacks]

Liking the last post sir pawn.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Thank you XxstacksxX and Instant Aces.

We shall depart as friends, and the same goes for everybody else on this forum.

GL with all your endevours.

May your villains spew and your mistakes be few

Good bye!

[BennyLaRue]

See ya, SP. Sounds like you've been doing some thinking. That's good. But please don't think your problems are solved because of one epiphany. I still strongly suggest professional help.

[kmind]

I PMed him a day or two ago but don't really know his past nor why he was hated really (I really didn't attempt to read most of his posts though). If you do take things personally, definitely seek help. Don't feel defeated by doing so. I got help in middle school and it definitely helps. I really do not get the posts like the ones you received. I could never ever say some of things those people wrote and I still feel like a shitty person overall. Good luck man.

[Micro2Macro]

Great post.

You'll be missed. Best of luck in finding where you feel you belong.

[daven]

great post.
best of luck with everything.

[Luco]

I hope you see this Sir P, you'll be missed.

Awesome last post and you're spot on - confidence is vital. PM me if you ever feel like a chat.

[mrhappy333]

I didn't notice all the drama here? I never had a problem with OP.

[ChrisBCritter]

I think SP and LuckySlevin should be friends.

[a500lbgorilla]

I think you and I should be friends. But that won't happen. I don't do charity.

[Micro2Macro]

So since he's gone can we make this NSFW, this thread is lacking tits.

[Micro2Macro]

So since he's gone can we make this NSFW, this thread is lacking tits.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Hello my friends!

After I quit poker my life has turned around in a very positive direction. First weeks I just wandered around smiling to everyone I met- and about 50 % percent smiled back! Yeah for making a difference!

Then I actually started talking to people,- and to my surprise people seemed to enjoy the meaningless small talk- even I!

I even got a terrific new start at University and I am back to being a top student,- but more importantly getting new friends there.

Haha, good things accumulate. Next step was getting back into touch with old friends and doing some old school alcohol parties- yeah baby!

Flirting with pretty women, asking them out for dates- and getting yesses yessir! Haha, life is good.

But all is not well in this world. Billions of people are starving, animals are getting cruel treatment and our environment is neglected. But fear not my friends- haha, we are getting there, step by step. Stomp, stomp- haha, we are getting there.

As for health reform in the US I hope you succeed, although I must admit it hurts to witness the greed that is hindring progress. What is mine is mine, haha! I say- what is mine is yours!

Loyal friends and family, gourmet food, fine wine, lovely women, uplifting music, cultural experiences, dissemination of knowledge and understanding, haha- tolerance! Yeah baby- that is the good life!

What is the cost of these things? Sunshine, earth and water! Sunshine, earth and water, haha!

Haha, life is good my friends!

[mrhappy333]

Life should be real good. You live in Norway.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Although Norway is the richest country in the world per capita- we have one of the highest rates of suicide and mental illnesses.

Money means absolutely nothing! Once you accumulate- you realize!

Driving a 30K USD Sports Bike, owning a 7K USD sound system and possessing two cars at the age of 18,... gave me NO happiness!

Now I find happiness from walking in the forest- listening to the beautiful sounds from birds and running water! Watch that butterfly- it is so pretty!

Haha, money means nothing. It is true what he said, Buddha,- craving causes suffering!

The deepest sorrow that exists in the world, is not failing to aquire something you want, but rather- the sorrow that accompagnies aquiring something you want- and still feel dissatisfacted.

When the buzz is over,- what then? Do you fire up another blunt in a neverending hunt for pleasure? Or do you start enjoying every breath of your existence- without the enjoyment never hinging on any external stimuli?

Enjoy whatever comes your way- wu wei,- out of nothing comes everything!

Haha, life is good!

[flomo]

GTFO.

[Sir Pawnalot]

Thanks flomo, a bit of humor is always good!

BTW- be sure to thank Lucothefish from me. His very kind comment helped me tremendously in my recovery from gloom and melancholy to looney euphoria!

Keep polarizing your E and FE, lolz- if you get it! Pump up your FE,- utilize it,- build up FE again...punce pounce pounce- haha, the octopus strikes again!!

GL and together I think you make up the greatest, funniest and friendliest poker commune ever made!

Cheers to the mysterious founder, Xianti, mods and all participants! Skål!

[BennyLaRue]

Although Norway is the richest country in the world per capita- we have one of the highest rates of suicide and mental illnesses.

Maybe it's because you're the *second* richest country in the world. Who wants the silver medal?

Everyone in Luxembourg is happy.

[Ash256]

Hello my friends!

After I quit poker my life has turned around in a very positive direction. First weeks I just wandered around smiling to everyone I met- and about 50 % percent smiled back! Yeah for making a difference!

Then I actually started talking to people,- and to my surprise people seemed to enjoy the meaningless small talk- even I!

I even got a terrific new start at University and I am back to being a top student,- but more importantly getting new friends there.

Haha, good things accumulate. Next step was getting back into touch with old friends and doing some old school alcohol parties- yeah baby!

Flirting with pretty women, asking them out for dates- and getting yesses yessir! Haha, life is good.

But all is not well in this world. Billions of people are starving, animals are getting cruel treatment and our environment is neglected. But fear not my friends- haha, we are getting there, step by step. Stomp, stomp- haha, we are getting there.

As for health reform in the US I hope you succeed, although I must admit it hurts to witness the greed that is hindring progress. What is mine is mine, haha! I say- what is mine is yours!

Loyal friends and family, gourmet food, fine wine, lovely women, uplifting music, cultural experiences, dissemination of knowledge and understanding, haha- tolerance! Yeah baby- that is the good life!

What is the cost of these things? Sunshine, earth and water! Sunshine, earth and water, haha!

Haha, life is good my friends!

fuck yeah, nice one bruv!

[Sir Pawnalot]

Although Norway is the richest country in the world per capita- we have one of the highest rates of suicide and mental illnesses.

Maybe it's because you're the *second* richest country in the world. Who wants the silver medal?

Everyone in Luxembourg is happy.

You always make me laugh Benny!

[Luco]

BTW- be sure to thank Lucothefish from me. His very kind comment helped me tremendously in my recovery from gloom and melancholy to looney euphoria!

Wait, what?

Love you too buddy, keep fucking that chicken

[daven]

you should go camp on long island next summer
good mushrooms growing among the geese
and get your arse to evitas for good coffee and no shortage of pretty girls
i'm assuming oslo, cos we all know norway is basically just oslo and mountains and fjords

[WillburForce]

Driving a 30K USD Sports Bike, owning a 7K USD sound system and possessing two cars at the age of 18,... gave me NO happiness!

you've just being doing it wrong, you missed of the crack and hookers.

[a500lbgorilla]

sup Sir P

You ever manage to get those tits or get the fck out?

[Jack Sawyer]

Driving a 30K USD Sports Bike, owning a 7K USD sound system and possessing two cars at the age of 18,... gave me NO happiness!

you've just being doing it wrong, you missed of the crack and hookers.

hahaha, so true
specially the hookers part