.... and talked to some very good friends who have carte blanche to tell me when I'm screwed up (and exactly HOW I'm screwed up ). Spent a lot of time thinking about why I'm playing this game in the first place and what changes I need to make in me to be able to play, play well, and enjoy the game.

And so now I'm ready to get back to playing. Hopefully with a new and improved attitude toward the whole thing. I've given my self a goal (to build my paltry $53 dollar bank roll to $500 (I do have an "out" toward this as, out of our budget, I get $50 bucks a month "allowance" I can do with whatever I want.)

I've added some disciplin (sp?) to my game by setting up a schedule of when I play. Since I'm disabled and homebound I play from 8 or 9am to 5 or 6pm, 45min sessions with 15 minute breaks inbetween (this fits my background as my job, before I got sick, was a city bus driver (very precise on times and such) and I'm very comfortable doing it that way.

I've made a promise to stay inside my BR. Right now I'm playing nickle/dime limit poker on Poker Stars. Since I can't afford Poker Tracker (yet) I made up a Works spreadsheet to keep some accurate records on various important (to me) aspects of my game.

And I've started doing a LOT more studying. I can't afford books right now but there's plenty of on-line stuff out there (including here) to keep me busy until I can.

So the hope is this game will become, again, the enjoyable passtime it used to be and maybe I'll make a buck or two along the way.

I apologize for the previous rant and "I quit" message. Just goes to show just how far into the "tilt zone" I was.

Dean