Storytelling - True or False?

[Lukie]

Ok, this thread needs a brief introduction. I'm already credited for having the best thread in the history of this great site. If you are unfamiliar with what I am talking about, refer here:
http://www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2/...oker-31904.htm

With expectations set so high, I understand that people wading through my posts expect only the highest of quality. I've set the bar high. While it can never reach the level of greatness as the holy thread of randomness, I promise it won't dissapoint. Without further ado, I bring to all of FTR, the true or false? thread!!!

Basically, it goes like this. I tell a story. If you think it's true in its entirety, say true. If any part of the story is false, say false. FWIW, I'm not the prick of a high school teacher that's going to change one minor, insignificant detail of the story to make it false (although I'm certainly allowed to, MWAHHAHAHA). Anyway, here goes.

---

I did a bunch of stuff today. Went up to the pool, had some sushi, shot some hoops, worked out, ate at my dads, yadayadayada. I'm chilling on the computer a few hours ago and I decide to finally take a shower. *puts on flame retardant suit* I havn't shaved my chest or stomach in a while so I figure what the hell, let's kill 2 birds with one stone. I get about half my chest shaved and my goddamn shaving cream runs out. Nothing left. Nada. Zip. None. Zero. Nucho.

So I look around, and see a couple bottles of axe shower gel and a bottle of head and shoulders. First I try the axe for a while, and after like 20 minutes of trying to shave, I realize it's largely ineffective. So I use the shampoo as my shaving cream. It worked a little better, and another half an hour or so later, I get out of the shower lookin spiffy. I towel off, put on a pair of boxer briefs, got a bottle of water, came over to FTR and made this thread.

True or False?

[UG]

it is true I did not think you could go up another level in gayness, but my god you did it


EDIT: Your story is definitely true.

[gabe]

tell a story about me so i can know if its true or false

[Lukie]

tell a story about me so i can know if its true or false

?

are you trying to see if my style of writing changes when comparing true vs false stories?

[Lukie]

Once upon a time, there was a 'werd game' thread. It was the greatest thread of it's time, until rilla one day decided to can it. Inside, there was a little exhange that went something like this:

gabe

gay

gabe

gay

gabe

gay

gabe

gay

gabe

gay

gabe

gay

Then Lukie, being the good samaritan that he is, took the thread off course. It was one of the few mistakes that he's ever made in his life. The end.

[gabe]

nah

[ItDepends]

I shave without shaving cream, it's not that hard.

True

[midas06]

shaving without shaving cream works, but it sucks

[theDEEPdish]

I don't use cream on my balls

[midas06]

getting a rash would suck

[mb2447]

I did a bunch of stuff today. Went up to the pool, had some sushi, shot some hoops, worked out, ate at my dads, yadayadayada. I'm chilling on the computer a few hours ago and I decide to finally take a shower. *puts on flame retardant suit*

I havn't shaved my chest or stomach in a while so I figure what the hell, let's kill 2 birds with one stone. I get about half my chest shaved and my goddamn shaving cream runs out. Nothing left. Nada. Zip. None. Zero. Nucho.

So I look around, and see a couple bottles of axe shower gel and a bottle of head and shoulders. First I try the axe for a while, and after like 20 minutes of trying to shave, I realize it's largely ineffective. So I use the shampoo as my shaving cream. It worked a little better, and another half an hour or so later, I get out of the shower lookin spiffy. I towel off, put on a pair of boxer briefs, got a bottle of water, came over to FTR and made this thread.

even in the middle of your usual autofellatio you manage to come across as indescribably gay. nh.

[Bailey]

ROFL best thread ever...

[ensign_lee]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

This is so true. I cannot believe you...

[Xianti]

Lukkake gets hygiene and grooming tips from Queer Eye For the Queer Guy.

True or False?

[Xianti]

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

[badandy519]

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

And what exactly do you know about that technique, xman???

[Galapogos]

I get out of the shower lookin spiffy. I towel off, put on a pair of boxer briefs, got a bottle of water, came over to FTR and made this thread.

True or False?

False.

After reading this thread I now believe you wear panties.

[Greedo017]

amazon.com ...

make sure you also check out the "customers also bought", i'm sure you'll want all of those too if you don't already have them.

{edited by euph -- i hate scrolling side to side to read a thread.}

[Bailey]

ROFL brokeback mo untain

[Renton]

you shave your chest?

what a fruit

[a500lbgorilla]

i dont shave my chest becuase it's hairless and naturally well oiled.

[bigred]

Lukkake gets hygiene and grooming tips from Queer Eye For the Queer Guy.

True or False?

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

Two harsh burns from the xman.

This thread is not going the way you planned....true or false.

[jyms]

TIP; Use conditioner to shave body parts. trust me. This is TRUE.

[thenonsequitur]

{extra long link removed - Euph}

make sure you also check out the "customers also bought", i'm sure you'll want all of those too if you don't already have them.

Haha, watch the featured clip "Find out why you should shave everywhere."

[Lukie]

Lukkake gets hygiene and grooming tips from Queer Eye For the Queer Guy.

True or False?

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

Two harsh burns from the xman.

This thread is not going the way you planned....true or false.

I told somebody i was going to make the gayest thread on FTR. Can't back down.

False.

[Miffed22001]

Lukkake gets hygiene and grooming tips from Queer Eye For the Queer Guy.

True or False?

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

Two harsh burns from the xman.

This thread is not going the way you planned....true or false.

I told somebody i was going to make the gayest thread on FTR. Can't back down.

False.

you are a big gay.

True.

[bigred]

He's not really big.

[swiggidy]

Lukkake gets hygiene and grooming tips from Queer Eye For the Queer Guy.

True or False?

Except for this the rest of the thread sucks

[Warpe]

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

Make friends, not enemas.

[jyms]

Lukie, you left out the part about using your detachable shower head when taking a shower to spray your ass clean, but then leaving the hard and fast jet stream of hot water on your asshole five minutes longer than you really need.

Make friends, not enemas.

The west coast is awake

[ensign_lee]

Next story...

[Lukie]

FTR Winstar trip. Sunday. Trik's mom's house.

Me, Gabe, Boost, and George all drive down to chase's (trikflow) place. Everyone we meet is super nice and hospitable, and we're treated to many things (steak, alcohol, pool, finals game, etc). Awesome day. We crash sometime in the AM, and the 4 of us are cramped in one room. I can't fall asleep and I accidently elbow George in the head (quite hard, I might add) several times while moving around.

Anyway, I fall asleep and wake up. The clock reads 4:12am. I hear 'boost' whisper, "yo, lukie, you up broski?" I'm like, wtf, since when does a half-black guy talk like that. I'm so f'ing incoherent at this point I'm like yaaaaaaaaaa in this real raspy, low pitched tone. He says, "follow me". I feel like I'm in a fucking dream at this point, but I just shrug it off and do as he says.

He leads me out by the pool. He busts out 2 things outta his pocket that look like tire gauges, and I see some brillo pad stuffed inside. He puts a rock in, waves his lighter around a bit (I'm so tired i don't know wtf is going on). Long story short, I start seeing some crazy hallucinations, we laugh it up a bit, and after a while (and apparantly almost jumping into the pool), the effect wore off, and he congratulated me for my first time smoking crack.

We laughed about it the next day but never told the others. This will be their first time finding out.

True or False?

[ensign_lee]

False.

[Muxy]

false

[a500lbgorilla]

lol false

boost doesnt share his rocks

[Muxy]

lol false

boost doesnt share his rocks

[PO$$E$$ED]

He leads me out by the pool. He waves his man-wand around a bit (I'm so tired i don't know wtf is going on). Long story short, we start doing some crazy shit, we laugh it up a bit, and after a while (and apparantly almost jumping into the pool), he congratulated me for my first time doing it with a black man.

We laughed about it the next day but never told the others. This will be their first time finding out.

True or True?

[Galapogos]

Lmao!

[bigred]

He leads me out by the pool. He waves his man-wand around a bit (I'm so tired i don't know wtf is going on). Long story short, we start doing some crazy shit, we laugh it up a bit, and after a while (and apparantly almost jumping into the pool), he congratulated me for my first time doing it with a black man.

We laughed about it the next day but never told the others. This will be their first time finding out.

True or True?

False, no way that was his first.

[a500lbgorilla]

this game is easy

[Lukie]

pretty poor 2nd story, not enough detail, and too obvious of an answer.

Obviously True...... err scratch that, false.

[a500lbgorilla]

At a .5/1 50 buyin home game nearby run and raked by some jerk i knew in HS this scenario came up:

I convince the table to let me live straddle and tell anyone that if anyone raises I'm going all in. A guy no one likes from my graduating class who's really nitty minraises and it gets back to me and i say "Im gonna look at one and push if its pretty" he demands I do as I say and push. I look at his stack and he's only got like 20 behind so I say "k, im all in" He tables QQ and I dont turn my hand up. He demands I show my hand but I plan on squeezing after the river.

I say "Im gonna table it on the flop." Flop comes down Qd Td x. And I say "I muck" and toss the hand to dealer who turns them over showing KJ, i of course turn a 9 as the "floor" decides that I cant muck on the flop and that tossing my hand to the dealer was for her to expose it and deal out the river, just as I claimed I was doing. "I said I might aswell muck" as I take in a 90 pot when it turns out I had also missread his stack by about 25 bucks.

T/F?

[lolzzz_321]

It was a chilly fall day my freshman year in college and my buddy and I were walking back to the dorms from class. We are stopped by these two guys from 'Christ on Campus' who begin talking to us. My friend and I are too nice to say gtf out of our way, so we listen. He drabbles out a gobbly gook introduction and then says, "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?"

Without hesistation I say, "Why did God make black people?" (one of them is black)

Both their jaws jar the richter scale as they hit the ground.

I played poker with them on campus a week later.

T/F?

[Warpe]

False. Even you ('rilla) aren't that stupid.

[Warpe]

So I'm working the midnight shift as a weather observer at a remote weather station in the Arctic when it comes time to read the thermometers. It's the dead of winter, 24 hours of darkness, -40-ish.

I put on my parka and boots, go outside and walk through the snow to the Stephenson screen (a ventilated box that houses the thermometers) to take my readings. Once I'm finished, I close up the screen and turn back down the path towards the door of the building I just came out of. Except now I see that there's a full grown Arctic wolf standing in front of it.

I turn my head...and see another wolf...and another one...I turn a bit more...there's another...and another...I do a 360...another...and another...I'm surrounded by a pack of Arctic wolves!

The only thing I can think of is that I need to get back into the building, pronto. So I look at the wolf standing in front of the door, swallow hard, then take a run at him as fast as I can, yelling at the the top of my lungs.

But he doesn't move. He just looks at me. I'm getting closer and closer and still he's not moving, until...when I'm only a few feet away from him...he calmly backs up a couple of steps, just enough to let me by.

I get to the door, now with my back turned to him, and feel the hair on the back of neck standing straight up as I scramble to get inside and close the door behind me.

I didn't go outside again until the day shift showed up.

T/F?

[a500lbgorilla]

that story didnt involve near enough crying to be true, Warpe

[EricE]

So I'm working the midnight shift as a weather observer at a remote weather station in the Arctic when it comes time to read the thermometers. It's the dead of winter, 24 hours of darkness, -40-ish.

I put on my parka and boots, go outside and walk through the snow to the Stephenson screen (a ventilated box that houses the thermometers) to take my readings. Once I'm finished, I close up the screen and turn back down the path towards the door of the building I just came out of. Except now I see that there's a full grown Arctic wolf standing in front of it.

I turn my head...and see another wolf...and another one...I turn a bit more...there's another...and another...I do a 360...another...and another...I'm surrounded by a pack of Arctic wolves!

The only thing I can think of is that I need to get back into the building, pronto. So I look at the wolf standing in front of the door, swallow hard, then take a run at him as fast as I can, yelling at the the top of my lungs.

But he doesn't move. He just looks at me. I'm getting closer and closer and still he's not moving, until...when I'm only a few feet away from him...he calmly backs up a couple of steps, just enough to let me by.

I get to the door, now with my back turned to him, and feel the hair on the back of neck standing straight up as I scramble to get inside and close the door behind me.

I didn't go outside again until the day shift showed up.

T/F?

What movie is that from?

[Warpe]

What movie is that from?

No one's optioned my life story yet. It's 100% true.

[a500lbgorilla]

more like "based in truth"

[Lukie]

At a .5/1 50 buyin home game nearby run and raked by some jerk i knew in HS this scenario came up:

I convince the table to let me live straddle and tell anyone that if anyone raises I'm going all in. A guy no one likes from my graduating class who's really nitty minraises and it gets back to me and i say "Im gonna look at one and push if its pretty" he demands I do as I say and push. I look at his stack and he's only got like 20 behind so I say "k, im all in" He tables QQ and I dont turn my hand up. He demands I show my hand but I plan on squeezing after the river.

I say "Im gonna table it on the flop." Flop comes down Qd Td x. And I say "I muck" and toss the hand to dealer who turns them over showing KJ, i of course turn a 9 as the "floor" decides that I cant muck on the flop and that tossing my hand to the dealer was for her to expose it and deal out the river, just as I claimed I was doing. "I said I might aswell muck" as I take in a 90 pot when it turns out I had also missread his stack by about 25 bucks.

T/F?

I can't imagine anyone being this dumb, so I'm going to say false.

The fact that you posted it greatly weights the answer towards true, but I'm gonna stick with my guns.

F.

[Lukie]

What movie is that from?

No one's optioned my life story yet. It's 100% true.

really?

pretty cool story if it is, and a little background info couldn't hurt.

[Warpe]

really?

pretty cool story if it is, and a little background info couldn't hurt.

I was here for a winter:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Patrick_Island

[chardrian]

I am a shemale.

T/F?

[Muxy]

I am a shemale.

T/F?

F

[Lukie]

really?

pretty cool story if it is, and a little background info couldn't hurt.

I was here for a winter:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Patrick_Island

sounds like a massive ice block, similar to the rest of canada.

[a500lbgorilla]

my story is true through preflop action. But i tabled my hand when he bitched about it preflop.

[lolzzz_321]

bump

[Renton]

you shave your chest?

what a fruit

[boost]

It was a chilly fall day my freshman year in college and my buddy and I were walking back to the dorms from class. We are stopped by these two guys from 'Christ on Campus' who begin talking to us. My friend and I are too nice to say gtf out of our way, so we listen. He drabbles out a gobbly gook introduction and then says, "If you could ask God one question, what would it be?"

Without hesistation I say, "Why did God make black people?" (one of them is black)

Both their jaws jar the richter scale as they hit the ground.

I played poker with them on campus a week later.

T/F?

god I hope this is true.