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I was doing it so wrong before (long post)

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  1. #1

    Default I was doing it so wrong before (long post)

    Seeing as this commune is a 98% male-dominated place, we need to talk about women more often. I think its beneficial since most of us are introverted people. It's necessary to get it started.

    I'll say the things I know, and the things I used to do wrong half a year ago. Getting girls (im still 18, so im sure the rules are different for 30-somethins), is really easy. Oneitis is the single most destructive power in the world. Its when you fixate on one person at a time. You end up making mistakes. Giving up too much about yourself too early, in a dire hope of them loving you.

    By doing this, you pretty much kill your chances of getting a girl. Now when i say girls, I mean actual good looking girls, with a good personality. If your trying to jsut hook up with a girl whos really easy, with a low self esteem, its your choice. But you really don't need to do much but whip it out, the rest writes itsself. don't bother with those girls, you really get no satisfaction at the end of the day.

    Biggest thing: be yourself. Trying to be someone you aren't becomes quickly transparent. You always want to make a good, strong introduction, however after that you need to jsut be yourself. Because if you aren't; she gets bored of the act. You won't last long if you commit.

    Once again: if you just want to get laid, and the girls just wants to get laid, then none of this is really necessary. But nothing beats a smokin hot girlfriend, so read on.

    too much too early, being yourself.. what else. Eye contact. Make an honest effort to make as much eye contact as possible. Gaze, don't stare. Break it from time to time. Let her know your actually paying attention.

    Big thing #2 - SHOW INTEREST. You can't hope to spend alot of time with a girl, be friends and hope she just spring upon you one day. you usually end up friends, which can just be pure torture. Show interest, make compliments; and don't wait too long. Grow a pair and make a move. Ask her out, if your wrong so what, next! If your right, well, you won't be stuck as the friend. (haha, remember that just friends thread?)

    So what was I doing wrong before?

    - Trying (failing) to get in with girls way too fast. I feared to much I would become a friend I would literally scare them off with a creepy amount of attention.

    - Oneitis. I would focus intensley on one girl at a time. Neglecting other possibilities, that you realize later might have been even a better option

    - Not being me. I could front like no tommorow. I never really lied, jsut embellished. Acted differently around them. It wasnt necessary. I guess I wasn't happy wiht myself. But remember, shes got to like you. And if you try to live the lie its no better than just being single.

    Why im writing this?

    Because its the shit you need to know. I wish i knew before, but thats growing up. Right now im pretty sure im in with a fucking knockout babe. Ill post pics sometime if it works out. Shes avatar worthy. And I know if she came into my life a year ago, she would have been long gone by now.

    Other pitfalls to avoid?
  2. #2
    You read The Game, didn't you? :P

    Seriously though, the most important skill you can ever learn in LIFE in general, is being comfortable in your own skin. If you aren't happy with yourself, it will show, and you will attract people who are also unhappy with themselves. Generally these people aren't worth your time!

    Unfortunately, our society trains us to be unhappy with ourselves. Even this 'pickup' crap you're probably reading way too much constantly tells us we're not good enough, we need to follow systems to be sociable, we need to buy makeup to look good...

    Once you develop a permanent and strong love for yourself, and all of the things that make you 'you', you will stand out- people will want to be around you, they will want to be like you, and most importantly...

    You'll get laaaaaaid, brotha!

    bahahaha
  3. #3
    I have heard of the book, but ive never read it, or anything else like it. Isn't it like a manual or something to pick up chicks?

    I should have read that book when i was 14 :P

    Oneitis was a term that I know was from the game. A friend explaine dit to me once. It was kind of funny at the time, I thought it sounded like some terrible VD. But definatley a legit point nonetheless.

    And yeah, your loving self thing is true. People who dont love themselves create false barriers. Act differently. I touched on that a bit. But after a while, you have to be you.

    Also if a girl does like you, and you act differently around her on the third encounter than you did on the first and second, she will think something is wrong. Your suddenly acting differently. You might just be showing the real you. However thats different than the guy you introduced yourself as. The girl might think that you are acting differently, and she will think one of many things. Worst being the fact you might not like her, so your acting different; you aren't the guy who she thought you were. etc.

    Best part of your post was being canadian too
  4. #4
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    Watch "The Tao of Steve", and skip to the good parts
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  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Jishu
    Best part of your post was being canadian too
    Hey man, let's not invite a whole bunch of Canadian jokes up in hurr. I've heard em all!
  6. #6
    Halv's Avatar
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    tl;dr

    I was expecting new tricks to use while grooming one's private parts.
  7. #7
    jaykn - im also canadian.

    Halv- If the commune really wants it, we can discuss the endgame of ballshaving.
  8. #8
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    You're 18? So that's why yr balls are hairless
  9. #9
    lolzzz_321's Avatar
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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by HalvSame
    tl;dr

    I was expecting new tricks to use while grooming one's private parts.
  11. #11
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    Alright, I'll bite.

    About being yourself, wtf does that mean exactly? I'm atleast 3 people throughout the course of the day. And from day to day, these people can be very different. It depends completely on the setting, my mood and who is paying attention to me.

    When chatting with a girl, i try to be friendly and engaging. When I'm with professors/colleagues I'll tend to be bright and helpful.
    With friends, I can be a whole mess of things on any given day.

    So instead of saying "be yourself" you should say "Pay attention to what she's saying and respond how you feel. If you don't like something, say it. If you don't have an opinion on something, don't just start shooting from the hip trying to read her reactions and guessing what she'd like to hear."

    Also, respect your own body. There's shit you can't change about you, but you know how that cute blonde chick has the most adorable little chin? She might hate her chin just like you hate how skinny you are. If you can find a respect for your body, it translates into confidence which filters down into a lot of other things.
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  12. #12
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    tip #1 in picking up chicks is don't be such a fuckin homo
  13. #13
    I remember when I was 18, I thought I had it all figured out too. I didn't have a clue, and you'll realize some day that you don't either.

    Just like you said "I wish I would have known, or read that book, when I was 14," four years from now you'll be saying, "DAMN, I wish I knew that when I was 18," and so on, for the rest of your life.


  14. #14
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    Yah, it's like I'm constantly 1 step behind. (Or just wish I was one step ahead, really)
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    tip #1 in picking up chicks is don't be such a fuckin homo
    orly?
  16. #16
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigspenda73
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    tip #1 in picking up chicks is don't be such a fuckin homo
    orly?
    yeah cuz being homo is insta-friend zone
  17. #17
    lol

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