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I was doing it so wrong before (long post)
Seeing as this commune is a 98% male-dominated place, we need to talk about women more often. I think its beneficial since most of us are introverted people. It's necessary to get it started.
I'll say the things I know, and the things I used to do wrong half a year ago. Getting girls (im still 18, so im sure the rules are different for 30-somethins), is really easy. Oneitis is the single most destructive power in the world. Its when you fixate on one person at a time. You end up making mistakes. Giving up too much about yourself too early, in a dire hope of them loving you.
By doing this, you pretty much kill your chances of getting a girl. Now when i say girls, I mean actual good looking girls, with a good personality. If your trying to jsut hook up with a girl whos really easy, with a low self esteem, its your choice. But you really don't need to do much but whip it out, the rest writes itsself. don't bother with those girls, you really get no satisfaction at the end of the day.
Biggest thing: be yourself. Trying to be someone you aren't becomes quickly transparent. You always want to make a good, strong introduction, however after that you need to jsut be yourself. Because if you aren't; she gets bored of the act. You won't last long if you commit.
Once again: if you just want to get laid, and the girls just wants to get laid, then none of this is really necessary. But nothing beats a smokin hot girlfriend, so read on.
too much too early, being yourself.. what else. Eye contact. Make an honest effort to make as much eye contact as possible. Gaze, don't stare. Break it from time to time. Let her know your actually paying attention.
Big thing #2 - SHOW INTEREST. You can't hope to spend alot of time with a girl, be friends and hope she just spring upon you one day. you usually end up friends, which can just be pure torture. Show interest, make compliments; and don't wait too long. Grow a pair and make a move. Ask her out, if your wrong so what, next! If your right, well, you won't be stuck as the friend. (haha, remember that just friends thread?)
So what was I doing wrong before?
- Trying (failing) to get in with girls way too fast. I feared to much I would become a friend I would literally scare them off with a creepy amount of attention.
- Oneitis. I would focus intensley on one girl at a time. Neglecting other possibilities, that you realize later might have been even a better option
- Not being me. I could front like no tommorow. I never really lied, jsut embellished. Acted differently around them. It wasnt necessary. I guess I wasn't happy wiht myself. But remember, shes got to like you. And if you try to live the lie its no better than just being single.
Why im writing this?
Because its the shit you need to know. I wish i knew before, but thats growing up. Right now im pretty sure im in with a fucking knockout babe. Ill post pics sometime if it works out. Shes avatar worthy. And I know if she came into my life a year ago, she would have been long gone by now.
Other pitfalls to avoid?
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