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 Trip Report: Christmas at my Grandma's
Cliff notes: My uncle held a gun to his cousin's face and told him if he didn't "get his goddamn ass up the fucking road" then he was going to "blow his fucking brains all over the living room".
Merry Christmas!!
Edit: I don't really know where to begin. I can entertain for hours and hours on end with stories just about this particular aspect of my family, but I'll do my best to sum it up, although some build-up is required to get the full effect.
There's two main parts of my dad's side of the family, and each part doesn't get along very well at all. If you've ever seen some movie about a bunch of hicks having a feud with another family or a part of their family then you have a pretty good idea of what I'm dealing with here. They're basically feuding over my great-grand-dad's land/belongings/shit in general.
Two characters you need to know are Mickey and Sambo. Mickey is my uncle, and is redheaded and crazy as fuck, but he's also the person I get along with the best in my family. Sambo is my 2nd cousin I think, and is part of the "other" side of the family. He's also crazy as fuck.
To quantify crazy for you guys, consider this. When I was in the 2nd grade, my mom worked as a waitress in a steakhouse for a while. Sambo thought he had seen my mom at a bar all up on some guy who wasn't my dad the night before (it wasn't her) so he decided to go to her place of employment the next day and get her fired (without my dad's knowledge). He ended up throwing one of her managers literally through a window and beat the guy half to death with a chair before the cops arrived. In my family, this is as standard as raising preflop with AA.
Now back to real time. My grandma (also Mickey's mother) had a massive stroke almost a year ago, and is confined to a wheelchair now, and just the fact that she's still alive makes this Christmas sort of a big deal since she had the stroke days after last Christmas and we didn't think she would have another. All of my side of the family is at her house and all is well.
Then Sambo came to my grandma's today for Christmas food/presents/blah and all of this, which he's never done before. He acts all innocent like he's not going to start any shit, but within being there 15 minutes the shit hit the fan. I didn't hear exactly what he said but Sambo asked my grandma something and she mumbled back (which is all she's capable of doing) and Sambo made a smartass comment back.
At this, Mickey walked straight to his truck, pulled his .357, came back in the house, held it about 3 feet from Sambo's face and told him if he didn't "get his goddamn ass up the fucking road" then he was going to "blow his fucking brains all over the living room". It wouldn't have been the first person shot over this shit, either.
Sambo left. End of story.
Holy fuck that was long and I didn't hardly scratch the surface but I think I told what was necessary.
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Originally Posted by gabe
