Beat: Need to make a resume. Havent had ajob in 6 years?!?!

[Enviropoker]

So I am quitting poker as a player, I will still work as an affiliate, but there really isnt much money in that, so I need to get a job. Problem is I havent had a job in 6 years. What exactly can I put on a resume for the last 6 years of my life?

[Enviropoker]

Applying to be a car salesman I think?!? What cna i list as relevant skills?

[Keith]

you can lie through your teeth and keep a straight face .....you'll be snapped up.

[Milleneumfalcn]

Write that you were working in the internet based gaming sector and performed extensive user testing on its client asp based systems applications.

say you went to South Korea to play StarCraft professionally and you were on the CJ Entus B team but you quit because of the ridiculous KeSPA policies

[oskar]

say you went to South Korea to play StarCraft professionally and you were on the CJ Entus B team but you quit because of the ridiculous KeSPA policies

that

Or as a more reasonable albeit much more boring option you could just tell the truth... Explain why you chose to play poker and try to think of some benefits it could have to your future career - You're good with math, you perform well under pressure, you're emotionally stable, good at self management etc...

On a second thought, I'd still rather go with the StarCraft story.

[donkbee]

{from blogs}

[wufwugy]

say you went to South Korea to play StarCraft professionally and you were on the CJ Entus B team but you quit because of the stimpack niggerspeed marines

fyp

[Lukie]

say you went to South Korea to play StarCraft professionally and you were on the CJ Entus B team but you quit because of the ridiculous KeSPA policies

Sadly, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Let us gogogo Jaedong OZ

[mcatdog]

I can't think of a group of people less qualified to give advice on how to get a real job than a forum of poker players. Why don't you talk to a resume advisor, or try telling the truth and if that doesn't work out then ask for advice on how you could present yourself better to improve your chances, some of them will probably help you.

[wufwugy]

bacchus osl wasnt that good. too much zvz. zvz's boring unless its got zero cuz he rules

[flomo]

Fill everything out up to the year 2003, then act as if it is still 2003.


or just bring this with you and say you are from the past<<EDITTED>>

[BennyLaRue]

I can't think of a group of people less qualified to give advice on how to get a real job than a forum of poker players.

This times a bajillion.

That said, I am qualified. Still, I suggest you follow mcat's advice. I can't guarantee I'm not an idiot.

Ignore the poker playing part. Write up your affiliate work as owning an Internet-based client services business. Talk about what you did to increase establish a client base and steps you took to market your site and increase revenue. Throw in comments on your customer's satisfaction and your client retention. Those skills are all directly applicable to sales. Be vague but try to keep it from sounding like porn.

If asked why you need a job now, say that it lost its lustre and you really miss working with people. Suppress any desire to blurt out how people are idiots.

[sinister1]

I can't think of a group of people less qualified to give advice on how to get a real job than a forum of poker players.

This times a bajillion.

That said, I am qualified. Still, I suggest you follow mcat's advice. I can't guarantee I'm not an idiot.

Ignore the poker playing part. Write up your affiliate work as owning an Internet-based client services business. Talk about what you did to increase establish a client base and steps you took to market your site and increase revenue. Throw in comments on your customer's satisfaction and your client retention. Those skills are all directly applicable to sales. Be vague but try to keep it from sounding like porn.

If asked why you need a job now, say that it lost its lustre and you really miss working with people. Suppress any desire to blurt out how people are idiots.

LOL

[revolvingiris]

I wish I could give better advice but I started playing poker again because the job market sucks...I guess it kind of depends on what your trying to accomplish. If you have a degree you could say you started your own freelance company and are now looking for something more stable.

[flomo]

i haven't had a job in 5 years and worry about this if i want to go back to work.

so far, i don't want to go back to work.


my last post is fucked and needs some edit

bacchus osl wasnt that good. too much zvz. zvz's boring unless its got zero cuz he rules

omg zero was so good in Blizzcon
I went to see it live, actually
fucking offensive spore colony made me laugh

[daven]

^ what benny said.

re the car sales job - talk about ability to read people and situations.

Honesty is good. Emphasise the relevant skills utilised in both playing and running the affiliate stuff.
Perform well under pressure/multi-tasking/problem solving/learning/etc...
Most people are interested more than anything else, and the fact that you supported yourself for 6 years doing this means it doesn't sound as bad as it could.

Emphasise the why of a change of direction too. Go with the 'i could keep doing this forever, but it isn't that fulfilling/social/room for movement and growth/whatever' line.
You will need to refer explicitly to this in cover letters as well, or, i would anyway.

Just cos it's all about me - I've copied a relevant section from my cv. The same cv that I will use, with some tweaking to rant about being principal business analyst in a large government department, if/when i choose to go back into the regular work grind - which will be late 2010 if i'm not mid-stakes ++ and my new company doesn't work out. People don't mind that you've done unusual things. People do mind about whether they think you can do the job.

I suggest that you do a lot of work on interview style and practice loads. Once you get into an interview the poker is irrelevant, in fact, pretty much everything is irrelevant. At that point it's a sales pitch.

2001-2005: Travelling and adventuring in NZ and around the world.

* Supported myself working in a variety of casual roles – fruit picking in Australia, guiding in New Zealand, general work in backpacker hostels, street performance in Europe.

...........
blah about some job
............

09/2006-07/2007: Travelling and Spanish study, South America.

5/2009 - xxxxx: well, right now i'm playing poker, hanging out in europe, and putting everything in place to start prototyping some new ideas i've got once i get back to nz

[wufwugy]

bacchus osl wasnt that good. too much zvz. zvz's boring unless its got zero cuz he rules

omg zero was so good in Blizzcon
I went to see it live, actually
fucking offensive spore colony made me laugh

zero would spawn broodling his own mother

u think u guys are nerds, ive never even played sc once in my life and i can tell u what the bisu build is, what infested terran are, that goliaths do half damage to mutas, etc

[tuuk2]

Try careerbuilder.com. If you post your resume, they'll give you free feedback. I believe you can also get templates from Microsoft.com for free. You can always pay someone to create one for you, but that will run you around $300.

[Micro2Macro]

I can't think of a group of people less qualified to give advice on how to get a real job than a forum of poker players.

I found this pretty amusing, and I strongly agree.

[Fnord]

i haven't had a job in 5 years and worry about this if i want to go back to work.

This is one of many reasons why Poker was never a full time gig for more for more than 6 months or so at a stretch...

Anyway, I think your gig as an affiliate is certainly resume material. Stress that, call yourself self-employed and play down the poker part even if that was a higher % of your income.

[Ztech]

You might also consider contacting headhunters. They can assist you and usually do not charge you upfront. They have incentive to find you work. So put them to work for you.

[Ash256]

Anyway, I think your gig as an affiliate is certainly resume material.

Exactly, esp. for a sales job considering the competitiveness of the market and the self-motivation required.. just say the market dried up and you're looking for new pastures or w/e

You might also consider contacting headhunters. They can assist you and usually do not charge you upfront. They have incentive to find you work. So put them to work for you.

"Washu' botha' me for?"

[oskar]

Just take them to a speed map and keep pumping marines until they give you the job.

[Milleneumfalcn]

I am currently unemployed after selling the hedge fund I was at, DONT USE CAREER BUILDER,MONSTER OR THELADDERS resume services. I have 2 good friends who are EVPs at large funds I had them revie/edit my resume . i made some adjustments and got good responses. Each of the job boards said my resume needed a rewrite for anywhere between $400-1000.00. If you use a resume writer go with the smaller independents

[ankush]

How to make a resume?this is most important question of every one but do not confuse create your resume online resume wizard and also free from any tensions

[kiwiMark]

I fucking hate tensions

[kiwiMark]

also topical spammer is topical

[ankush]

you want be make resume good at that time you create your resume online because online resume created method gives by may facility to create online resume
here good site to provided resume create wizard online....
resume-builder dot net

[Keith]

perhaps your spam may be more succesful if it was written in fluent english rather than effluent google translator.

[Nekrogovner]

Here's a few things people without talents can do:

1. Rob something: bank, exchange office, supermarket...whatever turns you on
2. Collect empty bottles from garbage: in my country, you need 14 bottles to get enough money to buy a bread, pretty sweet deal for a dumpster diver.
3. Kidnap someone/something (Somali pirates anyone?) and ask for ransom.
4. Sell drugs
5. Coach pokar for 19.99$ per hour - doh like fish will know you teach them wrong
6. Go to forest and eat fruits and squirrels
7. Start a really sensitive indie-emo-pop-rock band. You don't need any musical talents for that, and for some reason kids like that crap.
8. Sell tapped bottled water on ebay claiming it makes your penis bigger and harder. If you want regular customers crush some viagra and mix it in.

[BennyLaRue]

you want be make resume good at that time you create your resume online because online resume created method gives by may facility to create online resume
here good site to provided resume create wizard online....
resume-builder dot net

Will my resume end up reading like this? Because I can already do that. Don't need no fancy wizard.

[kiwiMark]

if I had magical powers I don't think I'd spend my time writing resumes

[BennyLaRue]

if I had magical powers I don't think I'd spend my time writing resumes

You'd conjure up one?

[bikes]

gtfo with the 3 letter word imo

[Warpe]