I never thought that saying "you should literally play twice as many hands" would be considered too tepid of advice.

When you change your range that much, it's going to completely change your post flop stats. Your AF is high, for example, but that'll change once your start playing hands worse than AJ. I guess I could say that your chef seems low for someone who's seeing the flop with such insanely strong ranges, but telling you to loosen up and then adjust your post flop play accordingly seems ~three trillion times more helpful than giving you advice on how to execute your shitty plan more optimally.