Talk about mispent yoof!!
Concerned/doting mother: "What did you do at college today, Li'l Jonny?"
Li'l Jonny:"I played poker in between searching soft core porn sites for a hot avatar to use at FTR!"
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Anyway, simple resolutions:
1. Cancel my mobile phone contract and get a pay-as-you-go. That should stop me wasting £10 a month on line rental.
2. Stop having any more children.