Whats the best way to make up to a girl?

[ProZachNation]

Ok so Zach fucked up big! Me and my ex girlfirend are still really close and are seeing if we can handle being apart and might try to take a stab at having a relationship again.

So last night I fucked up. She said she was gona call me at like 10 when she got done with drumline and she didnt. At like 12:30 I called her and all I heard was her screaming hello into the phone like an obnoxious drunk and a buncha people in the back ground. So I hung up because I thought either she couldnt hear me or she was so drunk she didnt care. I called her back like 10 minutes later and the same thing happened but I said something I should have said right before I hung up

So she called me from outside like 5 minutes later crying, I guess she had been bowling and she couldnt hear(she sounded drunk as fuck when she was screaming in the phone)

So I fucked up and she is really upset and said she needs a day or two to cool off.


So what should I do, I am coming home to see her this weekend and she took off work to hang out with me all of Saturday(before I fucked up.)

What should I do before I see her Saturday??

Should I send her flowers? Saturday I plan to cook a nice dinner for her at my house but I feel like I definetly need to try to redeem myself before then.


I dont know if I should tell you guys what I said because you guys might get pissed at me too. Im just a really emotional guy and got really pissed off for like 10 minutes.

ARG

[Lukie]

Chill out, don't buy her flowers, stop being emotional, stop being a bitch, don't talk to her for a few days if need be and when you do be cool about it.

Don't be the guy who calls her 4x a day bitching and crying and begging for forgiveness...

[ProZachNation]

Called her once today because she told me to. Everything else was spot on. NH sir.

Everyone else think just leaver her to be mad for awhile?

Anyone think surprise flowers would be a good thing?

[a500lbgorilla]

Obviously you can't be admin.

[Bmxicle]

i didn't read your post, but you wont figure out the best way by asking on a poker forum.

edit: unless you were playing poker with her and cracked her aces.

[Lukie]

Called her once today because she told me to. Everything else was spot on. NH sir.

Everyone else think just leaver her to be mad for awhile?

Anyone think surprise flowers would be a good thing?

Time heals all.

Surprise flowers aren't necessarily a bad thing. Some girls love it. Not my style though...

[jacbmw]

if you want her back mate, you have got to be valuable to her. Something she wants. Then you stay just a bit out of reach.

Its called cat/string theory - She is the Cat, and you keep moving the string just when she gets close. She always wants more. lol. i love this shit.

sry i am no expert, but i just had to chim in. gl all.

[bigred]

She didn't call you when she said she was going to. You vented your anger as a result. And you messed up?

[donkbee]

Saying sorry and actually meaning it should be good enough. Flowers is going overboard.

I personally would rather get flowers as a spontaneous, out of the blue, not expected gesture. I'm way more impressed with that type of thing ... getting flowers as a "I'm sorry for saying something stupid" kinda thing is kinda lame. Stop overreacting!

[freechus9]

Oh comon.

[ProZachNation]

Ohhhh but what I said was like baaaaaaad

I dont know, I guess tomorrow if shes still upset with me I might order them if shes better, Ill just plan to make Saturday even cooler.

[Les_Worm]

Flowers suck....they die. Relationships aren't perfect, you don't have to get along every moment of every day and you don't have to always kiss her ass when you do something stupid. Guys are stupid, girls know this. Girls are over emotional and dramatic, guys know this. If shes pissed at you then just let her be until she gets over it.

[mb2447]

what did you say?

[samsonite2100]

Flowers are great for when things are going good, but you want to make her feel special. It's a nice little gesture, but it's too done-to-death to seem sincere as an apology. Just leave her alone for a bit, and then apologize your ass off and mean it. And cook her dinner, yes, that never fails.

[PO$$E$$ED]

She said she was gona call me at like 10 when she got done with drumline and she didnt.

I see 2 reasons in that sentence alone why this girl probably isn't worth your time. That and the "obnoxious drunk" thing.

[dthorne04]

Tell her you're sorry, mean it, and end it at that. Be sincere, but not an idiot about it. Good luck, man.

[journey075]

wtf are you sorry about?

balls. grow some.

[ProZachNation]

she wasnt drunk but I thought she was.


Im not sure what Im gona make for dinner, steak for sure becasue I know she loves that.

[Eric]

It is hard to give you advice without knowing why she didn't call when she was supposed to and what exactly you said to here that was messed up(and also the WAY you said it).

[a500lbgorilla]

what did you say?

[koolmoe]

Jeezus.

You have to learn to respect yourself if you ever hope to have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Groveling when she gets upset is pretty clear evidence that you don't respect yourself.

What you described was a misunderstanding, and you are entitled to the feelings you had. If you were angry and upset that she didn't follow through on a promise to call you, then so be it. You shouldn't have to apologize for being upset.

Couple of red flags here. First red flag - you appear to be waiting by the phone AT 10 PM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT for her call. You are young and in college. Have a life. Don't let it revolve around late night phone calls from a high school girl in another city. When you hit your 30's, you'll wish you could do the stuff that you should be doing now, but you'll have responsibilities and won't be able to. Second red flag - you get angry (most likely out of jealousy) when she doesn't call. If you feel you can't trust her completely, you have no hope of having any kind of relationship with her, much less a long distance relationship.

I've been through what you are going through, and I have felt some of the same things you are feeling now. What I know now that I didn't know then was that there is no one girl. The trick is finding someone you like who is willing to work hard to build a strong relationship. I'm not telling you to renounce your feelings for this girl, but tone down the desperation a couple of orders of magnitude. Your life won't end if this relationship does.

[vqc]

It is hard to give you advice without knowing why she didn't call when she was supposed to and what exactly you said to here that was messed up(and also the WAY you said it).

Its not WHAT U SAID, its HOW U SAID IT!

[vqc]

Jeezus.

You have to learn to respect yourself if you ever hope to have a meaningful relationship with a woman. Groveling when she gets upset is pretty clear evidence that you don't respect yourself.

What you described was a misunderstanding, and you are entitled to the feelings you had. If you were angry and upset that she didn't follow through on a promise to call you, then so be it. You shouldn't have to apologize for being upset.

Couple of red flags here. First red flag - you appear to be waiting by the phone AT 10 PM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT for her call. You are young and in college. Have a life. Don't let it revolve around late night phone calls from a high school girl in another city. When you hit your 30's, you'll wish you could do the stuff that you should be doing now, but you'll have responsibilities and won't be able to. Second red flag - you get angry (most likely out of jealousy) when she doesn't call. If you feel you can't trust her completely, you have no hope of having any kind of relationship with her, much less a long distance relationship.

I've been through what you are going through, and I have felt some of the same things you are feeling now. What I know now that I didn't know then was that there is no one girl. The trick is finding someone you like who is willing to work hard to build a strong relationship. I'm not telling you to renounce your feelings for this girl, but tone down the desperation a couple of orders of magnitude. Your life won't end if this relationship does.

u are so wise in ur ways.

[lolzzz_321]

koolmoe is basically Dr. Phil of FTR.

that's a compliment.

[journey075]

yah ffs i dont see what youre apologizing for.

ps moderating the commune requires a penis.

[SinkRox]

When it comes to girls, i like the advice form a good friend of mine...

Who do you wanna be? The pansy in the PG film, or the bloke in the 18?

[swiggidy]

Im not sure what Im gona make for dinner, steak for sure becasue I know she loves that.

Why are you asking us what would make your ex feel better?

[bigred]

she wasnt drunk but I thought she was.


Im not sure what Im gona make for dinner, steak for sure becasue I know she loves that.

Looks like she's got you in the kitchen now. Make sure you pick up her dry cleaning before dropping the kids off at school. And if that steak is burnt, so help her, you will see the backside of her hand.

[gabe]

sup zach

[bigred]

If gabe is insulting you, you know you suck.

[worldbeater03]

nh gabe, my sentiments exactly


She's the one who was out of line for not calling when she said so, and she twisted it into you being wrong for callingt her when she was mad. Yeah, she got you bad. If you said something you shouldn't have, apologize for that, but you better make damn sure you also tell her what the hell you think about her not calling when she said!! Otherwise you can expect to get walked on with her as long as you have relations

[tom]

give her props for the clever drunken cover up. Boy/girl friend is right up there with parents and cops when it comes to difficulty of making a good excuse

who can doubt the pure ecstasy caused by a wild night of bowling?!

[Miffed22001]

Say sorry and mean it.
If she doesnt understand you can make mistakes get rid of her she isnt worth it anyway.
Flowers and stuff is way over the top man, just be sorry and dont screw up again.

[boost]

yah.. uh... what did you do that was wrong? she supposedly wants to try and make things work again, yet she makes promises and doesnt keep them? Sounds lame to me...

[ProZachNation]

Shes says that she said she was going to call me after bowling, I just remember her saying she might go bowling so i guess a miscommunication.


So I was thinking, cook steaks and baked potato on the grill, a salad and Tiramisu for dessert. Sound good?

[journey075]

Shes says that she said she was going to call me after bowling, I just remember her saying she might go bowling so i guess a miscommunication.


So I was thinking, cook steaks and baked potato on the grill, a salad and Tiramisu for dessert. Sound good?

k, youre gay.

is this girls name ricardo?

[boost]

Shes says that she said she was going to call me after bowling, I just remember her saying she might go bowling so i guess a miscommunication.


So I was thinking, cook steaks and baked potato on the grill, a salad and Tiramisu for dessert. Sound good?

k, youre gay.

is this girls name ricardo?

rrrrrofl... Im not gonna lie I like to cook, I even like to cook for other people, including my girlfreind. But this is funny none the less. Also.. meat and potatoes is not exactly thought of as a 'romantic' dinner...

[bigred]

Don't forget to pick up your favorite magazine prozach

image got messed up, i will fix it later

[a500lbgorilla]

what did you say?

[DaNutsInYoEye]

Only thing that girl needs is a nice big dose of vitamin D in her diet.

[ProZachNation]

Ok I know the potato is wierd, I want steak tho, what would go good with it?

[Fortune 500]

Dude.

You're asking the friggin' Commune for relationship advice?

Seriously?

[DaNutsInYoEye]

It won't work as a heterosexual relationship anyways since there are two bitches involved.

[ake]

It won't work as a heterosexual relationship anyways since there are two bitches involved.

Nothing to add

[ProZachNation]

Dude.

You're asking the friggin' Commune for relationship advice?

Seriously?

it was more of a vent thread, now its turning out funny.

[dthorne04]

Tiramisu does rule though.

[Greedo017]

Don’t call my name out your window, I’m leavin'
I won’t even turn my head.
Don’t send your kinfolk to give me no talkin'
I’ll be gone, like I said.

You’d just say the same old things
That you be sayin'all along,
Just lay there in your bed and keep your mouth shut,
Till I’m gone.
Don’t give me that old familiar cry and fuss and moan

Understand your man.

Now, you can give my other suit to the Salvation Army,
And everything else I leave behind --
I ain’t takin'nothin'that’ll slow down my travelin’of your bad-mouthin'
Understand your man.

[toilet_flush]

dude you have a serious problem. I know because I had a similar one.

OK, so you make a mistake (which I don't think was really that bad) and you wanna make up for it, you buy the girl some flowers, she smiles and says: "Thanks babe, i forgive you" and gives you a nice big hug and kiss!
Problem solved...

2 weeks later you make another mistake and you wanna make up for it. You buy the girl some flowers and a chocolate(or whatever) and she's happy and says its ok babe I forgive you...

and so on and so forth until eventually (and I suspect you may have reached this level already) You guys fight and regardless of who started or was wrong or right she then expects some sort of gift from you in apology. she doesn't get it. she's not happy. end.

Make sense? Gifts should be something special, spontaneous or romantic. They should not be given out of guilt or from an situation where fighting was an issue.

(my opinion anyway).

for lack of a better analogy: you give a dog a treat every evening just after you feed him. the dog begins to think that the treat is a part of his meal and expects it with his meal so the treat is in fact no longer a treat in the sense of the word but simple an expected (and granted) extra.

treat her well all the time, but treat her particularly well only sometimes. thats my theory anyway

later

[donkbee]

This thread is stupid. I think we can stop saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over again now.

[a500lbgorilla]

This thread is stupid. Let's all stop saying the same thing over and over again.

[WhiteFingers]

call the flop, check raise the turn and push the river.

Oh yeah and get some balls while you're at it.

[boost]

Ok I know the potato is wierd, I want steak tho, what would go good with it?

make what you want, but again steak, or anything grilled is just not typically thought of as a romantic dinner. It can be a nice dinner, but its just not romantic. Some sea foods are thought of as aphrodisiacs, and therefore romantic meals normally consist of some sort of sea food dish. Chicken is also good, but steak and potatoes are heavy and you wanna take a 45 minute break in the bathroom afterwards. Seafood or poultry is light and is less burp inducing. Make shrimp scampi or some shit, just look up a recipe online.

That advice above is ONLY for the food part of things, I give it because I like to cook and your idea of a romantic meal is really convoluted. But as for everything else youre a panzy and need to grow some balls. Its important to except blame when blame is due, but you cant accept all of it, esp when youre not the one that fucked up. Good luck with all this, but it sounds like you need a lot of work on your relationship.

[VQCsGirl]

Even though all the guys ragged on you in this thread, they're completely right. She fucked up in the first place and you said something you didn't mean in the heat of the argument. The fact that she needed one or two days to cool off shows how much of a drama queen she is. Vince pisses me off most of the time and I don't expect any flowers from him...a Porsche maybe :P

[donkbee]

Vince pisses me off most of the time and I don't expect any flowers from him...a Porsche maybe :P

haha

This thread really makes me think that Zach is more dramatic than the girl though ...

[ProZachNation]

Its done, talked on the phone tonight, we dont see eye to eye so fuck that. She can call me when she starts to miss me again and Ill be sad but act like a man till she calls me. If she doesnt oh well, Ill get over it get drunk and move on.

Balls in her court I guess. PS. Look forward to my drunkest post ever Saturday around 4am, when I try to get so drunk Friday night that I sleep through all of Saturday. Thats a healthy way to deal with a problem right?


ps. If it doesnt work out with VQ, Ive always had a thing for asians, call me if your on the rebound.

[lolzzz_321]

Locked at Author's/Emo Kids Everywhere request

[journey075]

Its done, talked on the phone tonight, we dont see eye to eye so fuck that. She can call me when she starts to miss me again and Ill be sad but act like a man till she calls me. If she doesnt oh well, Ill get over it get drunk and move on.

Balls in her court I guess. PS. Look forward to my drunkest post ever Saturday around 4am, when I try to get so drunk Friday night that I sleep through all of Saturday. Thats a healthy way to deal with a problem right?


ps. If it doesnt work out with VQ, Ive always had a thing for asians, call me if your on the rebound.

-500 respect points for this thread.

[lolzzz_321]

LOCKED AGAIN...