Toilet paper, hoarding and profiteering, and ass hygiene thread

[boost]

Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now. But what's the proper bidet etiquette? Anyone a pro?

Also, anyone a pro with the traditional Asian setup? IIRC, in less developed parts of Asia you'd find a large trough of water, a small pale, and a bar of soap. What is to be done with these three tools?

[Poopadoop]

Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now.

I've been blessed with an extremely regular digestive system. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink a coffee, and take a shit, always in that order (one day I may take a shit before I wake up, but I'm not that old yet). Then it's straight from the toilet to the shower. So I literally haven't had to even worry about wiping my ass in years.

If I did though I'd wet some paper, clean as best I could, then dry with other paper.

But what's the proper bidet etiquette? Anyone a pro? Also, anyone a pro with the traditional Asian setup? IIRC, in less developed parts of Asia you'd find a large trough of water, a small pale, and a bar of soap. What is to be done with these three tools?

Bidet etiquette - no idea. Third world ass hygiene - don't even want to think about it.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now.

If I did that, I'd have a wet slop of mush spread across my shitty ass.

How can you moisten TP without it just disintegrating in the time it takes your hand to move toward your ass?

(I use Charmin, BTW, not some damn hippy extra-biodegradable-for-your-latrine TP, neither.)


Though these days, I'm about to be using whatever sandpaper is left on the shelves.

[boost]

If I did that, I'd have a wet slop of mush spread across my shitty ass.

How can you moisten TP without it just disintegrating in the time it takes your hand to move toward your ass?

(I use Charmin, BTW, not some damn hippy extra-biodegradable-for-your-latrine TP, neither.)


Though these days, I'm about to be using whatever sandpaper is left on the shelves.

I use red Charmin. I always fold, never scrunch. But yeah, I've probably unconsciously developed a dexterous technique over the years. But come on, you're a smart guy, you know your butthole isn't clean with just dry paper.